The Joker: The Clown Prince of Discomfort

This is something I have been meaning to write about for a long time... One of my (if not my most) favorite villains ever created: the clown prince of crime himself, the Joker. 

The Joker has been around almost as long as his counterpart, Batman, and is equally beloved/appreciated by fans. However, there are others who are simply put off, even disgusted by the character. Why is this? Of course there are obvious reasons such as his murderous ways and sadistic style, but there are so many villains out there who are like that who do not cause the same discomfort. What is it about the Joker?

First, let’s look at his history: the Joker first showed up in the 40’s during the Golden Age of comics. He is labeled as the first “comic book villain” meaning he was the first villain to dress up in a costume like the hero and to really challenge the hero not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. (Before the Joker, Batman always faced off against common thugs, bank robbers, etc. Nothing to write home about.) This was the Joker’s purpose of creation. He was so well received that the writers continued to make comics including him as the main antagonist. This version of the Joker was mainly a sadistic murderer. He pushed the hero to the limit and fans loved it.

By the 50’s, an act called the “Comics Code Authority” was passed where all comic books were censored. No violence or criminal activity was allowed unless the perpetrator was caught and received proper justice (and the violence could only be so great). No romance could be shown beyond hand-holding and maybe even a chaste kiss. Basically all comic books were G-rated. During this time, the Joker managed to survive, but his character was changed drastically. He became this goofy, silly, non-sensical criminal instead of the original murderous, sadistic villain.

In the 60’s, a new editor and chief came into play, Julius Schwartz. He hated the Joker and as a result, the character became almost non-existent. However, thanks to the 1960’s TV show, the Joker was not forgotten completely. 

Cesar Romero as the Joker in 1960's TV show

Finally, in the 70’s, two writers, Dennis O’Neil and Neil Adams, were tasked with bringing the Joker back. They decided to combine the old, sadistic Joker with the current goofy and non-sensical one. This new character was SO well received! Fans loved it! Ever since then, many different writers have used this character in stories, movies, and TV shows. This is the Joker we are most familiar with today.

So let’s look at his character: the Joker is definitely a psychopath. A psychopath is “a person with a psychopathic personality, which manifests as amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience, etc.” (Dictionary.com). However, I really question if he is “insane”. He is always sent to Arkham Asylum whenever he is caught to be rehabilitated, but I often wonder if this is necessary. Is he really mentally ill?

He is clearly very intelligent and his plans are very meticulously thought out (even if they do not always make a ton of sense). He knows how to manipulate people and use them to his advantage. These are not the actions of an insane person. Even though his schemes sometimes seem to have no order, if you either look at the big picture or analyze the details of it, you realize that there is a certain pattern to everything he does. He always wants people to laugh at “the joke” whatever it may be. Most often, his goal is to “make people like him” or to “see themselves for what they are” because deep down everybody is like him. So even though his schemes may seem irrational and insane, they always have a purpose. 

One doctor at Arkham said of the Joker that perhaps he is not insane at all. He is something we have not encountered before. He is “super sane”. He sees reality differently than the rest of us on a different intelligence level than normal people. That combined with his psychopathic tendencies makes it look like he is insane. Now, of course he is a lunatic, but there's a difference between crazy and "insane" in the criminal justice and medical sense of the word. But I can delve deeper into that question sometime later perhaps.

As stated above, his main goal, most of the time, is to “make people like him”. Some obvious examples of this can be seen in The Dark Knight and The Killing Joke. In The Dark Knight, the Joker sets up a situation where two boats full of people are rigged with explosives and each boat has each other’s trigger. They are given an hour to blow up the other and live or leave it and both blow up at the end of the hour. The Joker’s idea here is that people are selfish, chaotic animals just like himself and will not think of others. They will do anything to save themselves, even kill an entire boat full of people. 

In The Killing Joke, the Joker kidnaps Commissioner Gordon and puts him through a hellish sort of amusement park ride that he set up himself in hopes of driving the commissioner insane. He believes that all it takes is “one bad day” to drive even the most stand up, sane person over the edge. 

So, why does the Joker make people so uncomfortable/afraid? Even diehard fans have to acknowledge that the Joker is a pretty menacing figure, but we still love him. I think it is all a matter of taste really. However, there is something about him that makes him stand out among other villains. He is so long-lasting and timeless.

I believe part of it is the air of mystery surrounding him. No one, not even the Joker himself, is entirely sure of his exact origins. Most villains have a backstory. Nowadays, something I have noticed is that writers try to make the villains more relatable. Why? I have no idea. I think it makes them less menacing. Evidence here of how to make your villain more terrifying... Make them more mysterious. The Joker’s past is shrouded with uncertainty.

The most widely-accepted origins among fans comes from The Killing Joke where (through flashbacks) it is told that the Joker was originally a young, struggling stand-up comedian who lost his pregnant wife. He got wrangled into helping some criminals break into a chemical plant where he used to work by dressing up as the Red Hood. While there, he was confronted by Batman and fell into a vat of chemicals. Once he was washed out outside, he found himself transformed with green hair, white skin, and red lips. The transformation, along with his wife’s death, drove him mad and he dove into a permanent life of crime. However, the Joker acknowledges later that he is not sure if that is what really happened. The fact that we have no idea where he came from adds to the terror that surrounds him. It’s just like the Devil himself created him and he emerged one day from the pits of Hell. 

Heath Ledger as the Joker in The Dark Knight

Another part that I think makes most people uncomfortable is that we do see a little of ourselves in him. Naturally we are not all sick, sadistic murders, but the fact that his goal is commonly to point out that we are just like him makes us uneasy... because sometimes it works. We see how evil and sick he is so when he manages to succeed in whatever he is doing, it is very upsetting. 

One other thing that causes unease is his sense of humor. Most people love a good laugh and associate laughter and humor with happy and nice things. However, in the Joker’s case it is not so. At the very least, one needs a dark sense of humor to really appreciate his humor (depending on what you are watching/reading). The Joker takes all sorts of normally nice things and twists them into something evil. He manages to find humor in almost everything. Lots of people do not like that. They want to laugh at the typical funny things and do not like seeing normally horrible things laughed at. It is sick. He laughs at pain, he laughs at irony, he laughs at death, he laughs at himself, he laughs at Batman, he laughs at stupidity, he laughs at gore, and so on. Often he laughs shortly before twisting it around and getting angry, then he’ll laugh again. And then that laugh makes so many people uncomfortable (again, depending on what version you are looking at). It is so psychotic and maniacal. That mixed with his trademark grin and signature look equals a not-so comforting character. Simply, he's just scary.

In conclusion, I will say overall, I believe it is a matter of taste and opinion. The Joker is simply not for some. However, if you delve deeper into why he may not be for some, I would round it up to his psychotic ways, the mystery surrounding him, the fact that he is not as different from us as we might think, his twisted sense of humor, and his all around creepiness. I personally enjoy every aspect of his personality and since he is such an icon not just in the comic book world, but in pop culture as well, I do not think he will be going away any time soon. Let us appreciate what a well-written character he is and how well-matched he is for the Dark Knight. 

"Suicide Squad" Review SPOILER FREE

READ THE FULL REVIEW HERE

I went and saw the new DC movie Suicide Squad last week and had some mixed feelings about it. Overall, I really liked it, but I acknowledge that it had a lot of problems. The biggest one was the story and as many know, the story is usually what brings me back to a movie. The story was a complete disaster for a number of reasons. However, there were many redeeming qualities that managed to save it for me.

Jared Leto as the Joker- first released picture

Let me back up a little to give you some background on my viewing experience... I remember when I first heard about this movie was when they released the first picture of the Joker. If anyone knows me 

at all, you will know that the Joker is one of my favorite villains of all time; so naturally I was really anxious to see his design... I was very thrown by it. He had tattoos and metal teeth? Bling? He was like a gangster Joker. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. However, I was willing to keep an open mind. Maybe this new movie would be good. Just because the style was a little bizarre didn’t mean it was going to be bad. I had heard of “Suicide Squad” before in the comic book world, but didn’t know much about it, so I looked into it. I was very intrigued by the concept and began to look forward to the movie a little more.

A short time later, they released full cast photos. Same with the Joker, I was a little thrown. I recognized a lot of the comic villains’ names, but their costumes and styles were SO bizarre and different than their original style. However, I was excited by seeing all these characters together and looked forward to the movie even more. 

First released cast photo

Finally, a trailer was released. That sealed the deal for me. I was sold. I didn’t care about the strange new take on the style. I wanted to see this movie. And then, as time passed and I saw more trailers and pictures, I decided that the style sort of worked. It was an interesting new take on these characters. Of course, I’m a stickler for the original designs, but the sort of punk/gangster looks kind of worked. I accepted it (I didn’t like it, but I accepted it).

What I am trying to say is that I knew what I was walking into when I went to see the movie and I think that helped prepare me for the bizarre style. I can easily see it not being someone’s cup of tea, but I enjoyed it.

As for the movie itself... Strengths? Definitely the casting. Particularly Will Smith as Deadshot, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, and Viola Davis as Amanda Waller. They all had such a strong presence every time they were on screen and totally owned their characters. 

There were some pretty good lines in there, both funny and serious. Even though they were usually thrown in random spots and/or the script was clunky, there were still some good lines every once in a while. 

I would say the casting and characters were the strongest part of the movie. I loved the dynamic between all the villains as well as each of their own individual personalities. In fact, the characters were what carried the movie; because while the movie started out strong, it definitely fell apart by the end and was pretty disjointed throughout the entirety of it. If it weren’t for the enjoyable characters, this movie would’ve been a flop for me.

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn

Another thing I liked about this movie was the relationship between the Joker and Harley Quinn.

While on the subject of the Joker, I will say that I did actually like this performance. I didn’t love it, but I think it was an interesting take. He was so creepy and completely psychotic. I would have liked to see a little more of his goofy side though because the Joker is well, a joker. He was mostly just a sick, crazy, crime-boss sort of guy. One of the things I love about the Joker is his twisted sense of humor. Everything is a joke to him. While I adored Heath Ledger’s Joker, that was sort of lacking there. So hopefully with this Joker, we’ll see some of that in the future. Like I said, I did enjoy the performance and I think Jared Leto really did go all out in trying to capture this character. However, I read a review that I kind of agree with where they said that they felt that it was "Jared Leto playing Jared Leto playing the Joker" meaning he was so caught up in his own head trying to play this character and there are times where you can just tell he's thinking "I am nailing this." And perhaps he is, but the fact that you can tell that he's thinking it is a point off his performance score. However, I still did enjoy the performance and I will definitely be interested in seeing him again.

However, this brings me to a weakness... the Joker. While I did like the performance, I feel like his screen time was very unbalanced. He either should have been given more screen time or should have been cut from the movie entirely. While that last one hurts me to say, it’s true because he felt a little thrown in. For such a big character in the comic book world, he deserves so much more screen time than what he got, especially for how much marketing he was given for this movie. (He was practically the cover boy.) The movie was much more about Harley Quinn. The whole reason he was in the movie in the first place was to explain her backstory, but then once that was out of the way, he had so many small, random scenes. To sum up my rant, I think he either should’ve been given more (logical) screen time or been cut out. In fact, he and Harley Quinn could probably manage their own stand-alone movie. I would totally go see that!

Will Smith as Deadshot

Speaking of randomness, this movie is full of it. It has the same problem that Batman v. Supermanhad and that is cramming too much of stuff into one film. While this film is definitely not on the same scale as Batman v. Superman, there’s a lot of disjointed stuff happening. And you know what? I think it probably could have worked here. The concept is good, but the editing sort of ruins it. Everything is all over the place. You’ve got backstories, you’ve got flashbacks, you’ve got what’s happening now, you’ve got what’s happening over there, you’ve got what’s happening with these people, you’ve got to throw in a random joke here and there. Now, I do like most of what is going on with all of those things, but the way it’s all thrown together to try and make a story... no. It doesn’t really work.

Now, the one major problem that I really think could have fixed a lot of things is the villain/motivation. Without spoiling anything, I'll just say that I did not see any point in there forming a Suicide Squad in the first place. The point of the Suicide Squad is that they’re special, but not that special. Like not special like Superman or Wonder Woman or Batman or whoever. The Suicide Squad members are expendable and have no interest in saving the world and only do so because they are forced to. Some of them have supernatural powers, but most of them are just highly skilled. What I am wondering is why couldn't an actual hero like Batman or Wonder Woman go and get this job taken care of? It seemed like more their area. (Where were those guys during this anyways?)

 I think they should’ve been going into a top secret military base in like Russia or something. Somewhere where the regular American army couldn’t go in under normal circumstances. That would’ve been cool. It would've been dangerous enough that we could see why these people were useful; then it would’ve been smaller scale, therefore less important to the big-time heroes like Batman or the Flash or whoever; and it would’ve been a good reason to bring in expendable people since it was in dangerous territory.  

Now, this is an action film and people are coming for fights. How was it? Entertaining for sure. I would not say it was the best action I have ever seen, but it keeps you interested. It was never dull, but it wasn’t really creative either. That is to say, it didn’t make itself stand out from other action films in that regard. There's one scene where Harley's in an elevator that stood out to me, but that's about it.

Alright, I have ranted enough over things I did not like about this film. But I did actually really enjoy it. As disjointed and random as it got, I was still very entertained by the action, the characters, and the smaller stories that were involved (backstories and such). I hardly cared about the motivation or plot as I watched it, I didn't care that it didn't make sense. I mentioned the casting, the characters, the Joker and Harley Quinn’s relationship, and the Joker’s performance. Those were all great parts of the movie and certainly carried it through the weak stuff. 

It is definitely very dark, but what do you expect from a movie about villains? However, it’s not as dark as it was originally supposed to be. They reshot some stuff and threw in a lot of upbeat things (which I think is a reason for a lot of the randomness), hoping to change the tone slightly. The result is a rather dark movie with a sort of quirky undertone. I enjoyed it, but I can easily see it making some people uncomfortable.

If you want to watch a movie with a great plot and well-done storytelling, you’re not going to get it. But, if you want a movie with awesome and interesting people doing some boss things, you won’t be disappointed. I would say give it a go. It won't waste your time.

My rating: 7/10.

"Suicide Squad" Full Review

I went and saw the new DC movie Suicide Squad last week and had some mixed feelings about it. Overall, I really liked it, but I acknowledge that it had a lot of problems. The biggest one was the story and as many know, the story is usually what brings me back to a movie. The story was a complete disaster for a number of reasons. However, there were many redeeming qualities that managed to save it for me.

Let me back up a little to give you some background on my viewing experience... I remember when I first heard about this movie was when they released the first picture of the Joker. If anyone knows me

at all, you will know that the Joker is one of my favorite villains of all time; so naturally I was really anxious to see his design... I was very thrown by it. He had tattoos and metal teeth? Bling? He was like a gangster Joker. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. However, I was willing to keep an open mind. Maybe this new movie would be good. Just because the style was a little bizarre didn’t mean it was going to be bad. I had heard of “Suicide Squad” before in the comic book world, but didn’t know much about it, so I looked into it. I was very intrigued by the concept and began to look forward to the movie a little more.

A short time later, they released full cast photos. Same with the Joker, I was a little thrown. I recognized a lot of the comic villains’ names, but their costumes and styles were SO bizarre and different than their original style. However, I was excited by seeing all these characters together and looked forward to the movie even more. 

Finally, a trailer was released. That sealed the deal for me. I was sold. I didn’t care about the strange new take on the style. I wanted to see this movie. And then, as time passed and I saw more trailers and pictures, I decided that the style sort of worked. It was an interesting new take on these characters. Of course, I’m a stickler for the original designs, but the sort of punk/gangster looks kind of worked. I accepted it (I didn’t like it, but I accepted it).

What I am trying to say is that I knew what I was walking into when I went to see the movie and I think that helped prepare me for the bizarre style. I can easily see it not being someone’s cup of tea, but I enjoyed it.

As for the movie itself... Strengths? Definitely the casting. Particularly Will Smith as Deadshot, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, and Viola Davis as Amanda Waller. They all had such a strong presence every time they were on screen and totally owned their characters. 

There were some pretty good lines in there, both funny and serious. Even though they were usually thrown in random spots and/or the script was clunky, there were still some good lines every once in a while. Deadshot had some great quips and Will Smith nailed that performance. His dry humor, his love for his daughter, his total boss-ness. Awesome!

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn surprised me. I’ve always loved Harley Quinn. She’s a very complex and interesting character, plus as the Joker’s girlfriend, I’ve got to love her. Also, she’s never been portrayed in a live-action role before, so I was very interested to see how this would go. I was not disappointed. She totally embodied that flat-out craziness you see in Harley, but then those moments when you see her tender side too... Like, she’s more than just a psychopath, she has emotions. It was extremely well done and Margot Robbie was spot on!

And then Viola Davis as Amanda Waller. She had such a presence whenever she was on screen. You knew who was in charge. She was intimidating! And ruthless. Like, she kills a room full of people just like that because they knew too much. (And I love Deadshot’s comment on that: “Now I’m a bad guy, but that’s a mean lady.”) She’s a bad good guy, you know? Not a corrupt good guy, just a bad one. Someone who will do literally anything to get the job done. Very suited to run the Suicide Squad. And Viola Davis was perfect in that role!

I would say the casting and characters were the strongest part of the movie. I loved the dynamic between all the villains as well as each of their own individual personalities. In fact, the characters were what carried the movie; because while the movie started out strong, it definitely fell apart by the end and was pretty disjointed throughout the entirety of it. If it weren’t for the enjoyable characters, this movie would’ve been a flop for me.

Another thing I liked about this movie was the relationship between the Joker and Harley Quinn. It fascinated me because they changed the dynamic from the usual portrayal. Harley is usually there fawning over the Joker and he sees her mostly as another disposable sidekick. He’ll come rescue her only if he needs her for a scheme or something and doesn’t actually genuinely care for her the way she does for him. However, in this movie, they changed that. He does actually care about her and they have this sort of psycho-in-love-with-psycho relationship. I really enjoyed it, the way two crazies get along like that.

While on the subject of the Joker, I will say that I did actually like this performance. I didn’t love it, but I think it was an interesting take. He was so creepy and completely psychotic. I would have liked to see a little more of his goofy side though because the Joker is well, a joker. He was mostly just a sick, crazy, crime-boss sort of guy. One of the things I love about the Joker is his twisted sense of humor. Everything is a joke to him. While I adored Heath Ledger’s Joker, that was sort of lacking there. So hopefully with this Joker, we’ll see some of that in the future. Like I said, I did enjoy the performance and I think Jared Leto really did go all out in trying to capture this character. However, I read a review that I kind of agree with where they said that they felt that it was "Jared Leto playing Jared Leto playing the Joker" meaning he was so caught up in his own head trying to play this character and there are times where you can just tell he's thinking "I am nailing this." And perhaps he is, but the fact that you can tell that he's thinking it is a point off his performance score. However, I still did enjoy the performance and I will definitely be interested in seeing him again.

However, this brings me to a weakness... the Joker. While I did like the performance, I feel like his screen time was very unbalanced. He either should have been given more screen time or should have been cut from the movie entirely. While that last one hurts me to say, it’s true because he felt a little thrown in. For such a big character in the comic book world, he deserves so much more screen time than what he got, especially for how much marketing he was given for this movie. (He was practically the cover boy.) The movie was much more about Harley Quinn. The whole reason he was in the movie in the first place was to explain her backstory, but then once that was out of the way, he had so many small, random scenes. And then they killed him off? What? And then it ends with him coming back to life? As if that was some big reveal. (Of course the Joker wasn’t really dead. He’s the Joker.) And what made them think that was a good ending for the movie? He wasn’t even a main character! To sum up my rant, I think he either should’ve been given more (logical) screen time or been cut out. In fact, he and Harley Quinn could probably manage their own stand-alone movie. I would totally go see that!

Speaking of randomness, this movie is full of it. It has the same problem that Batman v. Superman had and that is cramming too much of stuff into one film. While this film is definitely not on the same scale as Batman v. Superman, there’s a lot of disjointed stuff happening. And you know what? I think it probably could have worked here. The concept is good, but the editing sort of ruins it. Everything is all over the place. You’ve got backstories, you’ve got flashbacks, you’ve got what’s happening now, you’ve got what’s happening over there, you’ve got what’s happening with these people, you’ve got to throw in a random joke here and there. Now, I do like most of what is going on with all of those things, but the way it’s all thrown together to try and make a story... no. It doesn’t really work.

Now the one major problem that I really think could have fixed a lot of things is the villain/motivation. The Suicide Squad is sent into an abandoned urban area to save some people and then end up facing off against this supernatural entity and save the world. That’s the problem. The point of the Suicide Squad is that they’re special, but not that special. Like not special like Superman or Wonder Woman or Batman or whoever. The Suicide Squad members are expendable and have no interest in saving the world and only do so because they are forced to. Some of them have supernatural powers, but most of them are just highly skilled. My point is, why couldn’t someone like Batman or Wonder Woman go and save the world here? Surely Wonder Woman would’ve made the most sense. Where were those guys during this crisis? Why did the Suicide Squad have to go in? I was just so confused. 

 I think they should’ve been going into a top secret military base in like Russia or something. Somewhere where the regular American army couldn’t go in under normal circumstances. That would’ve been cool. It would've been dangerous enough that we could see why these people were useful; then it would’ve been smaller scale, therefore less important to the big-time heroes like Batman or the Flash or whoever; and it would’ve been a good reason to bring in expendable people since it was in dangerous territory; plus they weren’t saving the world. 

Now, as for the villain herself, Enchantress... why? Just why? There was absolutely no reason for her. And her motivation was just so vague. “People do not worship me. I will kill them with my machine because they worship machines!” But then we never even learn what the heck her machine does. And then what’s the point of her building a machine? We see throughout the movie that she can literally do anything with her magic. Why build a machine? And again, WHAT DOES HER MACHINE DO!?!! All it does is shoot a pillar of light into the sky (and we haven’t seen that a million times in action films). 

Now, this is an action film and people are coming for fights. How was it? Entertaining for sure. I would not say it was the best action I have ever seen, but it keeps you interested. It was never dull, but it wasn’t really creative either. That is to say, it didn’t make itself stand out from other action films in that regard. I did like the scene when Harley Quinn beat up the guys in the elevator, as random as it was, I really enjoyed it. That was a standout scene for me.

Alright, I have ranted enough over things I did not like about this film. But I did actually really enjoy it. As disjointed and random as it got, I was still very entertained by the action, the characters, and the smaller stories that were involved (backstories and such). I hardly cared about the motivation or plot as I watched it, I didn't care that it didn't make sense. I mentioned the casting, the characters, the Joker and Harley Quinn’s relationship, and the Joker’s performance. Those were all great parts of the movie and certainly carried it through the weak stuff. 

It is definitely very dark, but what do you expect from a movie about villains? However, it’s not as dark as it was originally supposed to be. They reshot some stuff and threw in a lot of upbeat things (which I think is a reason for a lot of the randomness), hoping to change the tone slightly. The result is a rather dark movie with a sort of quirky undertone. I enjoyed it, but I can easily see it making some people uncomfortable.

If you want to watch a movie with a great plot and well-done storytelling, you’re not going to get it. But, if you want a movie with awesome and interesting people doing some boss things, you won’t be disappointed. I would say give it a go. It won't waste your time.

My rating: 7/10.

KELSI WRITES FICTION- "Emma's Wait"

 “If you’ll just take a seat, Mrs. Tyler, the doctor will be with you in a moment.”

The young woman behind the desk turned away from the hunchbacked old woman before her, and immediately began typing away on her keyboard.

“Th-th-thank you,” came the barely audible reply of Emma Tyler.

The woman behind the desk hardly gave her a glance of acknowledgment, too wrapped up in what she was working on. Emma’s caretaker, Julie, grasped her arm and gently began to guide her towards the nearest chair.

The waiting room of the doctor’s office was empty, save Emma, Julie, and the secretary. The walls were white and bare, and the chairs sat lined up together against the wall, an awful gray and maroon checkered pattern. 

Carefully, Julie helped Emma lower herself into one of the chairs, then quickly took a seat beside her. Other than the clicking of the secretary’s keyboard, there was silence in the room.

Emma slowly lifted a trembling hand to flatten out some wrinkles in her floral pattern dress. It was her favorite dress, and even though it was a struggle to even lift her hand, she liked to see the material neat. Albert had given her the dress as a Christmas present many years ago. She mentally smiled at the memory, for it ached too much to actually smile. 

There they had sat beside their small yet friendly-looking tree, covered with several homemade decorations-- popcorn strings, paper-maché ornaments-- coming to the end of their small pile of presents. Emma had sat surrounded by piles of colorful wrapping paper, sipping her peppermint hot cocoa, believing the celebrations to be over.

“Wait here,” Albert had said, getting to his feet, “I’ll be right back.”

Puzzled, Emma had stayed in place, clutching her mug of cocoa, relishing in the warmth it radiated onto her cold, withered fingers. After a moment, Albert reappeared with a box in his hands, a small smile playing on his lips. 

Without a word, he handed the box to her. Emma had no idea what to expect, so she simply dug into the wrapping. She caught a glimpse of Albert’s slightly anxious smile as she removed the cardboard lid of the box beneath. 

Emma smiled as she ran her had over the blue floral pattern in the box. “It’s a dress,” she said simply, smiling.

“Yes,” Albert replied as he wrung his hands together, “I know I’m not very good at picking out clothes, but I... I wanted to get you something more personable than just another cook book or vacuum cleaner or something. And I know you like flowers and--”

“Albert, I love it,” Emma said.

Albert paused, processing her words. Then he grinned.

That had been nearly ten years ago. Emma sighed, using her thumb to stroke the faded pattern of her dress. Albert. If only he were there to support her through this hard time. He had always been good at that, always knew the right thing to say, the right thing to do, how to bring a smile to anyone’s face even in the grimmest of times.

Emma managed a glance at Julie beside her. She was absently playing with a strand of her curly red hair, staring ahead at one of the blank walls. Emma opened her mouth. “J-J-Ju-Ju... Julie,” she began.

Julie looked towards her, eyes round and attentive as she patiently waited for the struggling woman beside her to speak. “D-d-do you h-h-have Mindy’s let-t-t-ter?” Emma asked.

Julie nodded. She reached into her bag and handed her patient a small folded piece of paper. With some difficulty, but determination, Emma unfolded it. There was not much on it, but some marvelous multicolored scribbles, swirls, and a large, lopsided heart that sat right in the center. In the corner, written in ballpoint pen, were the words, “Mindy drew this for you this morning to let you know she’s thinking of you. The big heart represents how much she loves you. She says you’re the best grandma ever and to get better soon.”

Emma lifted a shaking hand to wipe away a single tear trickling down from beneath her glasses. Sweet Mindy. If only everyone’s love could be as genuine and pure as hers. Suddenly everything did not seem as bad as before. The disease that ailed and ached her body did not seem as painful. The small act of love from one little child was enough for Emma. Everything would be okay.

A door opened across the room. “Mrs. Tyler, the doctor will see you now.”

Favorite Merlin Episodes

I have to do this at some point for all my TV shows and since I've been rewatching Merling, I felt it appropriate to do this now. So, here is my top ten favorite Merlin episodes (in order of air date).

Labyrinth of Gedref
Arthur unintentionally brings misfortune and destruction to Camelot by killing a unicorn. He must pass a series of tests to lift the curse.

These moments when we see how true-hearted Arthur really is, is what makes the series great. The comparison with Uther's ruthlessness and Arthur's wisdom and kindness is awesome. Even though at this point in the series, Arthur is still immature and arrogant, it's nice to see the glimpses into the future of what he will be one day become.
Also, the random subplot with Merlin hunting the rat is so pointlessly hilarious.

The Once and Future Queen
Tired of special treatment, Arthur goes undercover as a commoner in a tournament held in Camelot. Merlin arranges for him to stay with Gwen. Meanwhile, an assassin arrives in Camelot to kill Arthur.

Oh, Arthur. He is a good person with good ideals, but early in the series, he's such a spoiled, arrogant little brat. This episode marks the beginning of his change for the better. Also, the beginning of his romance with Gwen. I do think it was a little rushed and sort of jumped into, but still enjoyable. I like that Gwen is not afraid to tell him off when he's being annoying. Her little rant about how rude and insensitive he can be is awesome. Merlin is the only other person brave enough to do that.

Lancelot and Guinevere
Morgana and Gwen are kidnapped and their captors intend to hold Morgana for ransom. Morgana manages to escape so the kidnappers decide to have Gwen pose as Morgana and present her to their employer instead. Uther refuses to send a rescue party after Gwen, so Arthur undertakes the journey alone (with Merlin, of course). Meanwhile, Gwen meets up with a familiar face.

We finally get to see how much Arthur really cares about Gwen. Although I think it's a little sudden since their first kiss; because it's the first time it's even acknowledged since "The Once and Future Queen" and suddenly he's talking about how he cares about her more than anyone? ...Well, it's still very sweet. He risks so much to go rescue her. It was so flippin' heartbreaking when he saw her and Lancelot together.
Also, I think Lancelot and Gwen's romance was a little out of the blue too (because they only met once before and didn't have a ton of interaction), but it was still quite tender. It was great to see Lancelot again though. I love him so much!
What I loved most though was Arthur and Merlin's journey. I always love their banter and interactions. When they go through the Wildren-infested tunnels while covered in Gaia berries became so iconic that they even brought it back in later seasons.

Beauty and the Beast (part 1 and 2)
A troll transforms herself into a beautiful lady of the court and attempts to woo Uther.

One of my all-time favorites. The actress who plays the troll is so good. She is so disgusting! Ha!
I love the scene when Uther is flirting with her at the dinner table. Arthur is so disgusted and Morgana is just like, Oh Uther, you sly dog.
Even after she is exposed as a troll, but Uther is under her spell and completely in love with her... it's too funny! The scene when the court gathers to make sure he is aware that he knows he is married to a troll is so hilarious ("...Not that it's necessarily a bad thing. We just thought we ought to point it out in case it happened to pass you by.")
Then Merlin, Gaius, and Arthur's hair-brained plan to break the troll's enchantment over Uther... Ha! ("After I have administered the poison-- the POTION!") It's pretty touching though that Uther still cries over Arthur even under an enchantment.

Sweet Dreams
The four kingdoms come together to sign a peace treaty. However, one king does not want peace and has his jester use sorcery to cause trouble: By causing Arthur and a visiting princess with an over-protective father to fall in love, the peace treaty could easily be called off.

Lovey-dovey Arthur is so hilarious! (GAIUS: "One of your ribs is broken, sire." ARTHUR: "Nothing can hurt me today. I am invincible! *grabs Gaius's face* Love really can conquer all, Gaius.") Poor Merlin trying to keep it all straight. Then poor Gwen getting her heart broken like that, just when she was getting her hopes up, bam! Nope, sorry.
Of course it's true love's kiss that breaks the enchantment! XD (Although, I have to say that it was a very good kiss.) I always wonder what happened to Vivian after she left because she was still under the spell.

The Eye of the Phoenix
To prove his worth to the kingdom, Arthur must undertake a grand quest alone through the Perilous Lands to retrieve the Fisher King's trident. Little does he know that Morgana is hindering him and he cannot complete his journey without help.

Poor clueless Arthur. (That just about sums up the entire show, to be honest.)
I liked that Morgana's bracelet served a purpose beyond just hindering Arthur's quest. It actually helped complete it in the end. Like, everything came into a full circle.
There were a bunch of small things I liked about this episode. For example, the Wyvern. As soon as you hear "distant cousins of the dragon", you're like Oh, Merlin's got this. Or the riddle that Arthur needs "courage, strength, and magic" to complete his quest. And of course, it's always great to see Gwaine again. He's awesome!

Queen of Hearts
Morgana has a vision of Gwen becoming queen and decides to expose her's and Arthur's relationship to Uther.

I find this a very stressful, but also a very sweet episode. You can see how Morgana knows exactly how to manipulate Uther and it annoys me so much!
Finally, Arthur straight-up says he loves Gwen instead of beating around the bush. And to his father no less. Then when Uther begins to think about it, wondering why Arthur feels so passionately (he might've even changed his mind), Morgana just had to suggest sorcery. I mean, naturally. It's the only logical explanation.
The scene when Gwen is sentenced to death is extremely heart-wrenching. Arthur and Guinevere for life! (Also, finally someone notices Morgana's evil smirk!)
And then this episode is the very first time we see old Merlin (known as Dragoon the Great here). So freakin' hilarious! I love his sassiness!

A Servant of Two Masters
Morgana captures Merlin and enslaves his mind, telling him to kill Arthur.

I think this one might be my favorite Merlin episode. All throughout the series, we see everyone else get enchanted and become someone they're not. So, for the first time, it happens to Merlin... and it's hilarious. Usually, he's such a loyal, polite, caring person, and then suddenly he's such a rude and grumpy little traitor who is so not subtle about what he is doing. I love that Merlin is just so trusted in the castle that even when he flat-out tells Leon that he's going to kill Arthur with a crossbow, Leon only laughs, Oh, good old Merlin, off to kill his Majesty. (He's the worst assassin ever too. I mean, when he's running at Arthur with a sword, he knocks himself out.)
Then, the first time Morgana encounters Emrys (old Merlin)! So good! You get to see how terrified she is of him. (I was a little let down by their magic face-off because all they do is throw each other in the air, but you get the idea of what's supposed to be happening.) Old Merlin is always a joy. He's just so darn sassy!

The Secret Sharer
Morgana becomes obsessed with finding out who Emrys is. She realizes that Gaius knows who he is and decides to have him kidnapped and tortured.

Oh, Gaius. He's a great character, really. (Even though I think for the sake of good story-telling, he should've been killed off at some point in order to allow Merlin to grow and progress... but I digress.)
I really loved hearing Merlin's destiny in full. I mean, you always hear bits and pieces about what he's going to do and who he will become, etc, but in this episode, when Gaius finally breaks, he says everything together and it just gave me chills. "He's the most powerful sorcerer who has ever lived." And the intensity as you wait for him to reveal Emrys's true name! Like, you want to hear it, because who is this great sorcerer But then you don't want him to give it away.
And freakin' Agravaine! I think he is the most frustrating character ever put in the show. And this episode made me so mad because he was so close to getting caught by Gwaine, but he still managed to talk his way out. He had a knife to Gaius's throat and he still talked his way out!

With All My Heart
Arthur finally finds out that Gwen is working with Morgana. He consorts with Gaius and Merlin and they find that sorcery is the only way to break Morgana's hold on the queen.

I have talked about how much I love old Merlin plenty of times, but here with old lady Merlin... I cannot even handle how hilariously perfect it was! Colin Morgan, how? His mannerisms, his voice. Hahaha!
And finally Gwen is fixed. I cannot believe they dragged on her brainwashing with Morgana for so many episodes. I mean, I didn't exactly grow bored of it, but usually they only carry this stuff for a maximum of two episodes if it's not the major plot arch.