MOVIES RANKED
9) IX- Rise of Skywalker
As Rey finishes her training as a Jedi, she finally discovers the truth about her parentage. Meanwhile the resistance discovers a horrible truth… Emperor Palpatine is still alive and stronger than ever!
Oh boy, this movie is all over the place. It really distracts you with amazing visual effects and good acting, but the story and script is just… man. They were really trying to play on the nostalgia and shock factor, but bringing Palpatine back to life was taking it way too far. It completely negates everything the other movies did. Like, Darth Vader literally sacrificed himself to kill Palpatine and now we find out it was all for nothing? What a waste!
And the twist. What a dumb twist. She’s a Palpatine? For crying out loud! They were trying too hard on that one. Just the thought of imagining Palpatine procreating… eugh.
Then of course there was “Rey Skywalker.” Don’t even get me started. The message was to accept yourself and who you are. So she should’ve accepted that she was a Palpatine and just called herself “Rey Palpatine” if that REALLY was the message! Gah! And why was she burying the lightsabers at Luke’s home? I don’t understand. It was to get the nostalgia out of us again. There was no other reason.
Well… needless to say, I was not a fan of this one. There were A LOT of other things that I did not like, but I don’t want to turn this into a novel, so I’ll stop ranting.
8) VIII- Last Jedi
The First Order has the Resistance on the run with their new special device that can track ships through hyperspace. Meanwhile, Rey tries to convince Luke Skywalker to leave his solitude to teach her the ways of the Force.
This is where the sequels started to go downhill. I actually don’t think this is a terrible movie, but in the context of the previous film, it just didn’t fit. What they really needed to do was write out an outline of what the story needed to be and then go from there. Not this movie-by-movie nonsense. This one focused on a lot of superfluous stuff and tried too hard to force modern messages down our throat (*cough cough* the casino scene *cough cough*). The entire plot with Poe and what’s-her-name made no sense and was completely unnecessary. Totally could’ve been avoided. Like, why couldn’t she just tell him what she was doing was for a reason? Obviously not telling him was doing was making it so much worse! And then, they kinda did Luke dirty. Where was the great Jedi master he should’ve been?
I did like all the Force related stuff though. It was pretty cool and the concept of “force-timing” was interesting. And I will say, Luke’s death was pretty poetic, going out the way we first saw him: staring at two suns. I liked that.
7) II- Attack of the Clones
The galaxy is in unrest with more and more people leaving the Republic and joining the Separatists. After an attempt is made on Senator Amidala’s life, two Jedi are assigned to protect her: Obi-Wan Kenobi and his padawan, Anakin Skywalker. However, after Obi-Wan is forced to investigate strange disturbances elsewhere, the senator and Anakin begin to grow closer in their solitude.
In all honesty, the plot of this movie isn’t all that bad, but its execution is not that great. And what really ruins it for me is the romance. Ahh! So cringey! I could let everything else slide if it wasn’t for that. I do wish that it was a little more obvious that the creation of the clones was a manipulation and there was a little more backstory to it in the movie. Like, explain who Sifo-Dias was. Maybe mention how he died through mysterious circumstances.
But really, my only major fault is the romance. People often complain about the acting, but if you analyze it, it’s the dialogue and not so much the acting. Yes, the acting isn’t THAT strong in some cases, but it’s not bad. The real problem is the script itself.
Personally, I just sort of think this one is sort of boring and then throw in the bad love story, it’s not one I enjoy watching all that much.
6) VII- The Force Awakens
A new force is rising in the galaxy to take place of the fallen Empire— the First Order— and are searching out a missing Luke Skywalker. The Resistance has also risen to stop them and are in a race to find the Jedi master first.
The only one of the sequels I actually enjoyed. I’d credit it to the nostalgia factor mainly. They hit all the right notes. A lot of people say that it’s a copycat of “A New Hope” which… yeah, it sort of is. It’s got the same outline which I suppose is why I enjoyed it so much. I do think it was different enough that it wasn’t quite a copy-paste situation. And it left you with enough questions that you really wanted to see the next one (unfortunately it left you disappointed). The characters were good, the acting was great, the special effects were stellar, costumes and sets were amazing, everything just lived up to the hype I thought.
5) I- Phantom Menace
When trade routes are cut off to the planet of Naboo, two Jedi knights are dispatched to settle the matter. But after they are betrayed and an army is sent down to the planet, it becomes a race to stop the Trade Federation before they wipe out the planet and take full control… But who is really behind the attack?
I know the prequels get a lot of crap for being boring, having terrible acting, having bad dialogue, etc. but you know what… this one was one of my favorites when I was little. I think that’s the difference between the original Star Wars fans and the “new” ones. When you grow up with something, it just hits different. Sure, I still see the flaws in the prequels, but they aren’t as offensive to me. They’re just part of what makes them fun.
There are A LOT of slow moments and talking in this one, but even as a kid that didn’t bother me. And now as an adult I can actually appreciate it. What they’re talking about is a really good buildup to what happens in the future. Sure, talking politics is boring, but when you understand what they’re talking about, it all makes sense why the government fails and why the Empire was able to take control down the line.
Then, I just love the characters and there are some of the best action scenes in all of Star Wars, I think. The duel between Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Darth Maul is *chef’s kiss* amazing! Plus, this movie gave us “Duel of the Fates.” How could you go wrong?
4) IV- A New Hope
After her ship is attacked, Princess Leia sends two droids on a mission to seek the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi. They are instead picked up by farm boy, Luke Skywalker, who helps them fulfill their mission to deliver stolen plans to destroy the evil Empire’s battle station.
The one that started it all! Where would we be without this one? It’s actually extremely enjoyable and you can understand why it hit such a chord with everyone back in the day. Great characters, fun story, creative world, fantastic special effects that still hold up today… Everything was amazing! I still love watching it!
Of course, you can’t deny it has its faults: it can be a little slow or drag a bit, the dialogue (in true George Lucas fashion) can be a little hokey, the acting isn’t always fantastic. But you know, the good definitely outweighs the bad, in my opinion.
3) III- Revenge of the Sith
Unrest in the galaxy turns to chaos as the Clone Wars rage on. The Jedi believe a Sith Lord is somewhere in the government right under their noses, but cannot detect who it is. Meanwhile, Anakin’s distrust in the Jedi increases and is only egged on by the Chancellor whispering in his ear. To make matters worse, he has terrible visions of Padme dying and will do anything he can to save her. Anything.
People always say this is the best of the prequels, but I thinks it’s actually one of the best of all of them. The execution of Anakin’s fall to the dark side is actually fantastic if you think about it. Again, people often get caught up in the terrible dialogue and everything (which I would argue is not that bad for the most part), but if you look at the story and how it’s told, it’s actually really good.
People sometimes complain how Anakin’s turn is “sudden,” but it’s really not. The entire movie is not just about him getting more and more desperate about wanting to save Padme’s life, but also him losing trust in the Jedi order. Him seeing Mace Windu about the execute the Chancellor without trial was the straw that broke the camel’s back. And it was all downhill from there. He knew there was no turning back. Then, after he killed all the Jedi and got a taste of power (which, technically he’s wanted all the time, but had been repressing), he moved beyond just wanting to save Padme and instead wanted to rule the galaxy… And that’s why he got upset when she didn’t see it from his point of view. That’s why he choked her out because saving her wasn’t his priority anymore.
That’s why I think it’s so good! And then that emotional ending with Obi-Wan and Anakin. I know all the memes make fun of the dialogue about the high ground and all, but it’s actually really sad. Then not to mention the creation of Darth Vader!
And then I have to mention some good dialogue for once… the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. That scene gives me chills.
2) VI- Return of the Jedi
The Rebels are going to make a final stand that should end the Empire once and for all, but it takes several coordinated attacks that all depend on one another. Luke, on the other hand, has a completely separate mission: He must face Darth Vader and the Emperor alone in order to complete his training and become a true Jedi Knight.
This one was another one of my favorites as a kid. I don’t really know why. I guess I thought it was funny. Or maybe I liked the Ewoks. But anyways, as an adult, I really appreciate the finale to what the original trilogy (actually what the entire Star Wars franchise— excluding the sequels) had been building up to. The extermination of the Empire and the Sith!
Obviously the most interesting plot line is Luke’s as he confronts Vader and the Emperor. It’s actually very intense because going into it you think there’s no way Luke would ever join the dark side, but the more the Emperor goads him on, the more worried you get because you can see how angry Luke gets as he watches his friends die. And that confrontation with Vader and Luke is so tense when they finally do go at each other. It’s just like “how’s this going to end?”
I love, love, LOVE how it does end though! Luke finally overcoming his feelings and declaring himself a Jedi. Yes! But then the Emperor attempting to kill him because of it. No! Luke crying out to his father to save him. Like… how heart wrenching! And you see Vader’s conflict and you’re all O_O And then Vader saves him! It’s just so good! And then just before Vader dies he wants to look at him “with my own eyes.” And you’re crying at this point. And just when you think it can’t get more emotional, Obi-Wan, Yoda, AND Anakin appear all watching Luke right there at the end. Like, I can’t!
Seriously, all the emotions get played just right at every moment. And I haven’t even mentioned the major twist. Everyone knows “I am your father” unless you’re living under a rock. But few people know about the “other Skywalker.” So good! It always hits you like a semi-truck and it’s so emotional.
I could go into the flaws like the slow beginning, the impracticality of the Ewoks, etc. but like I said before, the good far outweighs the bad.
1) V- Empire Strikes Back
The rebels are on the run. Despite successfully destroying the Death Star, the Empire are pursuing them harder than ever. Darth Vader is particularly interested in capturing Luke. After destroying their base, they are on the run again. Han, Chewie, and Leia are stuck in deep space without a hyperdrive while Luke travels to a swamp planet in search of a Jedi master to teach him the ways of the Force.
Is this a surprise? It’s pretty much universally agreed upon as the best Star Wars movie and even one of the greatest movies ever! People were fully expecting it to run along the same lines as “A New Hope,” but it deviated so much and was completely original in a good way. So tightly written, a lot of fun, and even kind of dark. It brought so many new things to the table while staying true to the original. It gave everyone a new plot line to follow and more character development. Luke’s story in particular was very important as the main character. And even though everyone was apart for most of the movie, their stories all came full circle in the end.
And then, obviously, we must address one of the biggest plot twists in cinema history. I cannot even imagine being in the theaters and watching it back then when absolutely no one knew about it. It must’ve been completely mind-boggling. Now “I am your father” is such a common phrase even if you don’t entirely know its context, but back then… man, that must’ve been crazy!
Everything about this movie is amazing. I can’t even think of major flaws. Even George Lucas’s usual problems like hokey dialogue wasn’t completely obvious. Everything was great!
TV SHOWS/SPIN OFFS RANKED
6) Solo: A Star Wars Story
Han Solo’s younger years set before "A New Hope.” How he met Chewbacca, how he became a smuggler, etc.
I forgot pretty much everything about this movie almost instantly. It wasn’t exactly bad, but it wasn’t really good either. It was just a completely unnecessary movie. I think they did too much with the plot as well. Like, the smuggling ring was interesting enough and made sense since Han was a smuggler, but then they threw in stuff about rebels and whatever and it just got complicated. And then there was a bunch of other stuff that… I don’t know. Like I said, unnecessary. The guy who played Han did a pretty good job of capturing Harrison Ford’s essence though.
5) Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
The story of the band of rebels who stole the Death Star plans and how/why they did it.
I know a lot of people really enjoyed this movie, but I just found it extremely boring. I don’t remember a single person’s name or what was happening for the first 2/3 of the movie. Only the last 1/3 was it interesting when they were actually attempting to steal the plans. Like with “Solo,” they were making it way more complicated than it needed to be. And, like I said, the characters were not interesting to me at all.
BUT… we must mention the Darth Vader hallway scene. That makes up for a lot of things. So epic!
4) Star Wars Rebels
It follows the beginnings of the rebellion and how it became organized. It mainly follows one group of vagabonds as they travel around the galaxy causing trouble for the Empire and inspiring others to do the same.
I really, really wanted to like this show, but I just didn’t get into it that much. It was like “Guardians of the Galaxy” except not as funny or charming. And the animation was very little kid show-ish which was off-putting. I kept watching because it had a lot of important information regarding the Star Wars universe, but I was never fully invested. I suppose that’s just me because I know a lot of people love this show.
3) The Book of Boba Fett
Set a few years after “Return of the Jedi,” Boba Fett takes over Jabba the Hutt’s crime empire and struggles to earn respect and hold onto his newfound power.
There were a lot of ups and downs with this one. I was really into the flashbacks and backstory, but less into the present-day stuff. It could get a little slow sometimes. But when it wasn’t slow it could be pretty epic. It was a shame it wasn’t better because Boba Fett is a really cool character and they could’ve done so much more with him.
It wasn’t a terrible show though and, like I said, it had some really awesome moments.
2) The Clone Wars
Set between “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith,” it tells all kinds of stories of what happened in the war during that time.
One of the best shows ever! You wouldn’t think so because it was originally perceived as a kids show, but it got increasingly more intense and “adult.” It addresses all kinds of questions you had about the prequels as well as things you never thought you needed to know. It redeems Anakin’s character, builds on his and Obi-Wan’s relationship, humanizes the clones, shows how war affects different people, gets deeper into the corruption of politics, etc. Very, very well done!
It does have some random filler episodes, but overall it keeps things interesting even when it’s not focusing on main characters. And while the first season is catered a little more towards kids, by the last couple seasons it most certainly is NOT a kid’s show anymore.
1) The Mandalorian
Set a few years after “Return of the Jedi,” it follows a Mandalorian bounty hunter and his exploits.
Greatest thing to come out of Star Wars. Period. I cannot think of a flaw. It is simply amazing! Characters, sets, costumes, acting, action, effects, story, emotion, EVERYTHING!!! It is something that has to be witnessed. I just cannot praise this show enough. It’s one of my favorites. I didn’t even get mad when he hijacked one of Boba Fett’s episodes because I love him so much.
I don’t think I’ve ever ACTUALLY cried over anything in Star Wars until this show. I was literally weeping over the season 2 finale. It brought out so many emotions at once, I couldn’t handle it.
