A Sacred Right

Something must be addressed here and I think that it will make some people uncomfortable. But then, that is exactly the problem... I am getting ahead of myself.

This uncomfortable idea that I will be addressing is (to put it delicately) making love. Alright, who cringed? Who automatically wants to stop reading? Well don’t. Be grown up and mature and hear what I have to say.

In the church there is this tremendous misconception that “making love” is sinful and we should never talk about it. Untrue! This is a twisted truth. What is sinful about it is when we commit the act before marriage and/or as recreation. We are actually encouraged by God himself to do it. It was the first commandment given to man to “multiply, and replenish the earth” (Moses 2:28). It is one of the most pure and sacred rights we as mortals have been given; the ability to reproduce. 

The Lord’s plan for all His children is to come to this earth and gain a body. He can only accomplish this through us. We make that possible by helping Him create the body through the art of “making love.” Think about it, a man and woman come together and give parts of themselves to create life. That is why it is called “making love” because they are creating a child, a new life, together. 

However, because this is such a pure and sacred right we have, we must guard and protect it like anything else sacred. This is where the discomfort and misconceptions come in. We are taught in the church (in fact, sometimes it’s hammered into our heads) not to engage in that type of behavior before marriage, not to look at pornography, not to dress immodestly, etc. All well and good, but I believe that because of the sacredness of the act, we all refuse to even talk about it unless absolutely necessary and when we do, we make it sound like, “SEX IS BAD!!! DON’T DO IT EVER!!! YOU WILL BE TAINTED FOREVER AND CONDEMNED!!!” But again, this is not the case. This is only in reference to doing it before marriage. 

President Spencer W. Kimball taught that “in the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, emphasis added). So, even though the main purpose of this act is to create children, it is also there to bond together husband and wife. That is why it is such an elating experience. 

However, as I said, it IS a sin if it is done outside of marriage. The 8th commandment is “do not commit adultery.” The definition of adultery from the Merriam-Webster dictionary is “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband.” Essentially, committing adultery is having intercourse with someone who is not your spouse (even if both partners are not married). If you are not married and doing this, you are committing adultery. Even if you love the person, it is still a sin. Richard G. Scott said on the subject that committing these acts “cause serious emotional and spiritual harm. Even though participants do not realize that is happening now, they will later. Sexual immorality creates a barrier to the influence of the Holy Spirit with all its uplifting, enlightening, and empowering capabilities. It causes powerful physical and emotional stimulation. In time that creates an unquenchable appetite that drives the offender to ever more serious sin.” (“Making the Right Choices,” Ensign, Nov. 1994). This is where people are allowed to get uncomfortable while watching movies/TV shows, hearing people talk about sex so flippantly, and so on. This is because they treat it simply as a form of enjoyment and not a sacred right endowed upon us that should be treated with respect.

So that is where people get very mixed up. Sexual intercourse, making love, whatever you want to call it, is not a bad thing; quite the contrary, it is a very good thing. It is okay to talk about it too, but we need to remember its sacredness; like talking about the temple ordinances and such. There’s no need to get so squeamish. (I mean, maybe a little, because it is a bodily function and I don’t really like talking about like bowel movements and stuff.) However, the point is that a lot of people get uncomfortable because they are mixed up about its purpose. The main reason I get uncomfortable is because people misrepresent and misunderstand its purpose inside and outside the church. So please, remember this next time the subject comes up.