Monday, March 14, 2022

My Favorite Star Wars

 MOVIES RANKED

9) IX- Rise of Skywalker

As Rey finishes her training as a Jedi, she finally discovers the truth about her parentage. Meanwhile the resistance discovers a horrible truth… Emperor Palpatine is still alive and stronger than ever!

Oh boy, this movie is all over the place. It really distracts you with amazing visual effects and good acting, but the story and script is just… man. They were really trying to play on the nostalgia and shock factor, but bringing Palpatine back to life was taking it way too far. It completely negates everything the other movies did. Like, Darth Vader literally sacrificed himself to kill Palpatine and now we find out it was all for nothing? What a waste!

And the twist. What a dumb twist. She’s a Palpatine? For crying out loud! They were trying too hard on that one. Just the thought of imagining Palpatine procreating… eugh. 

Then of course there was “Rey Skywalker.” Don’t even get me started. The message was to accept yourself and who you are. So she should’ve accepted that she was a Palpatine and just called herself “Rey Palpatine” if that REALLY was the message! Gah! And why was she burying the lightsabers at Luke’s home? I don’t understand. It was to get the nostalgia out of us again. There was no other reason.

Well… needless to say, I was not a fan of this one. There were A LOT of other things that I did not like, but I don’t want to turn this into a novel, so I’ll stop ranting.


8) VIII- Last Jedi

The First Order has the Resistance on the run with their new special device that can track ships through hyperspace. Meanwhile, Rey tries to convince Luke Skywalker to leave his solitude to teach her the ways of the Force.

This is where the sequels started to go downhill. I actually don’t think this is a terrible movie, but in the context of the previous film, it just didn’t fit. What they really needed to do was write out an outline of what the story needed to be and then go from there. Not this movie-by-movie nonsense. This one focused on a lot of superfluous stuff and tried too hard to force modern messages down our throat (*cough cough* the casino scene *cough cough*). The entire plot with Poe and what’s-her-name made no sense and was completely unnecessary. Totally could’ve been avoided. Like, why couldn’t she just tell him what she was doing was for a reason? Obviously not telling him was doing was making it so much worse! And then, they kinda did Luke dirty. Where was the great Jedi master he should’ve been?

I did like all the Force related stuff though. It was pretty cool and the concept of “force-timing” was interesting. And I will say, Luke’s death was pretty poetic, going out the way we first saw him: staring at two suns. I liked that.


7) II- Attack of the Clones

The galaxy is in unrest with more and more people leaving the Republic and joining the Separatists. After an attempt is made on Senator Amidala’s life, two Jedi are assigned to protect her: Obi-Wan Kenobi and his padawan, Anakin Skywalker. However, after Obi-Wan is forced to investigate strange disturbances elsewhere, the senator and Anakin begin to grow closer in their solitude.

In all honesty, the plot of this movie isn’t all that bad, but its execution is not that great. And what really ruins it for me is the romance. Ahh! So cringey! I could let everything else slide if it wasn’t for that. I do wish that it was a little more obvious that the creation of the clones was a manipulation and there was a little more backstory to it in the movie. Like, explain who Sifo-Dias was. Maybe mention how he died through mysterious circumstances. 

But really, my only major fault is the romance. People often complain about the acting, but if you analyze it, it’s the dialogue and not so much the acting. Yes, the acting isn’t THAT strong in some cases, but it’s not bad. The real problem is the script itself. 

Personally, I just sort of think this one is sort of boring and then throw in the bad love story, it’s not one I enjoy watching all that much.


6) VII- The Force Awakens

A new force is rising in the galaxy to take place of the fallen Empire— the First Order— and are searching out a missing Luke Skywalker. The Resistance has also risen to stop them and are in a race to find the Jedi master first.

The only one of the sequels I actually enjoyed. I’d credit it to the nostalgia factor mainly. They hit all the right notes. A lot of people say that it’s a copycat of “A New Hope” which… yeah, it sort of is. It’s got the same outline which I suppose is why I enjoyed it so much. I do think it was different enough that it wasn’t quite a copy-paste situation. And it left you with enough questions that you really wanted to see the next one (unfortunately it left you disappointed). The characters were good, the acting was great, the special effects were stellar, costumes and sets were amazing, everything just lived up to the hype I thought. 


5) I- Phantom Menace

When trade routes are cut off to the planet of Naboo, two Jedi knights are dispatched to settle the matter. But after they are betrayed and an army is sent down to the planet, it becomes a race to stop the Trade Federation before they wipe out the planet and take full control… But who is really behind the attack?

I know the prequels get a lot of crap for being boring, having terrible acting, having bad dialogue, etc. but you know what… this one was one of my favorites when I was little. I think that’s the difference between the original Star Wars fans and the “new” ones. When you grow up with something, it just hits different. Sure, I still see the flaws in the prequels, but they aren’t as offensive to me. They’re just part of what makes them fun.

There are A LOT of slow moments and talking in this one, but even as a kid that didn’t bother me. And now as an adult I can actually appreciate it. What they’re talking about is a really good buildup to what happens in the future. Sure, talking politics is boring, but when you understand what they’re talking about, it all makes sense why the government fails and why the Empire was able to take control down the line.

Then, I just love the characters and there are some of the best action scenes in all of Star Wars, I think. The duel between Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Darth Maul is *chef’s kiss* amazing! Plus, this movie gave us “Duel of the Fates.” How could you go wrong?


4) IV- A New Hope

After her ship is attacked, Princess Leia sends two droids on a mission to seek the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi. They are instead picked up by farm boy, Luke Skywalker, who helps them fulfill their mission to deliver stolen plans to destroy the evil Empire’s battle station.

The one that started it all! Where would we be without this one? It’s actually extremely enjoyable and you can understand why it hit such a chord with everyone back in the day. Great characters, fun story, creative world, fantastic special effects that still hold up today… Everything was amazing! I still love watching it! 

Of course, you can’t deny it has its faults: it can be a little slow or drag a bit, the dialogue (in true George Lucas fashion) can be a little hokey, the acting isn’t always fantastic. But you know, the good definitely outweighs the bad, in my opinion. 


3) III- Revenge of the Sith

Unrest in the galaxy turns to chaos as the Clone Wars rage on. The Jedi believe a Sith Lord is somewhere in the government right under their noses, but cannot detect who it is. Meanwhile, Anakin’s distrust in the Jedi increases and is only egged on by the Chancellor whispering in his ear. To make matters worse, he has terrible visions of Padme dying and will do anything he can to save her. Anything.

People always say this is the best of the prequels, but I thinks it’s actually one of the best of all of them. The execution of Anakin’s fall to the dark side is actually fantastic if you think about it. Again, people often get caught up in the terrible dialogue and everything (which I would argue is not that bad for the most part), but if you look at the story and how it’s told, it’s actually really good. 

People sometimes complain how Anakin’s turn is “sudden,” but it’s really not. The entire movie is not just about him getting more and more desperate about wanting to save Padme’s life, but also him losing trust in the Jedi order. Him seeing Mace Windu about the execute the Chancellor without trial was the straw that broke the camel’s back. And it was all downhill from there. He knew there was no turning back. Then, after he killed all the Jedi and got a taste of power (which, technically he’s wanted all the time, but had been repressing), he moved beyond just wanting to save Padme and instead wanted to rule the galaxy… And that’s why he got upset when she didn’t see it from his point of view. That’s why he choked her out because saving her wasn’t his priority anymore.

That’s why I think it’s so good! And then that emotional ending with Obi-Wan and Anakin. I know all the memes make fun of the dialogue about the high ground and all, but it’s actually really sad. Then not to mention the creation of Darth Vader! 

And then I have to mention some good dialogue for once… the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. That scene gives me chills.


2) VI- Return of the Jedi

The Rebels are going to make a final stand that should end the Empire once and for all, but it takes several coordinated attacks that all depend on one another. Luke, on the other hand, has a completely separate mission: He must face Darth Vader and the Emperor alone in order to complete his training and become a true Jedi Knight.

This one was another one of my favorites as a kid. I don’t really know why. I guess I thought it was funny. Or maybe I liked the Ewoks. But anyways, as an adult, I really appreciate the finale to what the original trilogy (actually what the entire Star Wars franchise— excluding the sequels) had been building up to. The extermination of the Empire and the Sith! 

Obviously the most interesting plot line is Luke’s as he confronts Vader and the Emperor. It’s actually very intense because going into it you think there’s no way Luke would ever join the dark side, but the more the Emperor goads him on, the more worried you get because you can see how angry Luke gets as he watches his friends die. And that confrontation with Vader and Luke is so tense when they finally do go at each other. It’s just like “how’s this going to end?”

I love, love, LOVE how it does end though! Luke finally overcoming his feelings and declaring himself a Jedi. Yes! But then the Emperor attempting to kill him because of it. No! Luke crying out to his father to save him. Like… how heart wrenching! And you see Vader’s conflict and you’re all O_O And then Vader saves him! It’s just so good! And then just before Vader dies he wants to look at him “with my own eyes.” And you’re crying at this point. And just when you think it can’t get more emotional, Obi-Wan, Yoda, AND Anakin appear all watching Luke right there at the end. Like, I can’t!

Seriously, all the emotions get played just right at every moment. And I haven’t even mentioned the major twist. Everyone knows “I am your father” unless you’re living under a rock. But few people know about the “other Skywalker.” So good! It always hits you like a semi-truck and it’s so emotional. 

I could go into the flaws like the slow beginning, the impracticality of the Ewoks, etc. but like I said before, the good far outweighs the bad.


1) V- Empire Strikes Back

The rebels are on the run. Despite successfully destroying the Death Star, the Empire are pursuing them harder than ever. Darth Vader is particularly interested in capturing Luke. After destroying their base, they are on the run again. Han, Chewie, and Leia are stuck in deep space without a hyperdrive while Luke travels to a swamp planet in search of a Jedi master to teach him the ways of the Force.

Is this a surprise? It’s pretty much universally agreed upon as the best Star Wars movie and even one of the greatest movies ever! People were fully expecting it to run along the same lines as “A New Hope,” but it deviated so much and was completely original in a good way. So tightly written, a lot of fun, and even kind of dark. It brought so many new things to the table while staying true to the original. It gave everyone a new plot line to follow and more character development. Luke’s story in particular was very important as the main character. And even though everyone was apart for most of the movie, their stories all came full circle in the end.

And then, obviously, we must address one of the biggest plot twists in cinema history. I cannot even imagine being in the theaters and watching it back then when absolutely no one knew about it. It must’ve been completely mind-boggling. Now “I am your father” is such a common phrase even if you don’t entirely know its context, but back then… man, that must’ve been crazy!

Everything about this movie is amazing. I can’t even think of major flaws. Even George Lucas’s usual problems like hokey dialogue wasn’t completely obvious. Everything was great!



TV SHOWS/SPIN OFFS RANKED


6) Solo: A Star Wars Story

Han Solo’s younger years set before "A New Hope.” How he met Chewbacca, how he became a smuggler, etc.

I forgot pretty much everything about this movie almost instantly. It wasn’t exactly bad, but it wasn’t really good either. It was just a completely unnecessary movie. I think they did too much with the plot as well. Like, the smuggling ring was interesting enough and made sense since Han was a smuggler, but then they threw in stuff about rebels and whatever and it just got complicated. And then there was a bunch of other stuff that… I don’t know. Like I said, unnecessary. The guy who played Han did a pretty good job of capturing Harrison Ford’s essence though.


5) Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

The story of the band of rebels who stole the Death Star plans and how/why they did it.

I know a lot of people really enjoyed this movie, but I just found it extremely boring. I don’t remember a single person’s name or what was happening for the first 2/3 of the movie. Only the last 1/3 was it interesting when they were actually attempting to steal the plans. Like with “Solo,” they were making it way more complicated than it needed to be. And, like I said, the characters were not interesting to me at all. 

BUT… we must mention the Darth Vader hallway scene. That makes up for a lot of things. So epic!


4) Star Wars Rebels

It follows the beginnings of the rebellion and how it became organized. It mainly follows one group of vagabonds as they travel around the galaxy causing trouble for the Empire and inspiring others to do the same.

I really, really wanted to like this show, but I just didn’t get into it that much. It was like “Guardians of the Galaxy” except not as funny or charming. And the animation was very little kid show-ish which was off-putting. I kept watching because it had a lot of important information regarding the Star Wars universe, but I was never fully invested. I suppose that’s just me because I know a lot of people love this show. 


3) The Book of Boba Fett

Set a few years after “Return of the Jedi,” Boba Fett takes over Jabba the Hutt’s crime empire and struggles to earn respect and hold onto his newfound power.

There were a lot of ups and downs with this one. I was really into the flashbacks and backstory, but less into the present-day stuff. It could get a little slow sometimes. But when it wasn’t slow it could be pretty epic. It was a shame it wasn’t better because Boba Fett is a really cool character and they could’ve done so much more with him.

It wasn’t a terrible show though and, like I said, it had some really awesome moments.


2) The Clone Wars

Set between “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith,” it tells all kinds of stories of what happened in the war during that time. 

One of the best shows ever! You wouldn’t think so because it was originally perceived as a kids show, but it got increasingly more intense and “adult.” It addresses all kinds of questions you had about the prequels as well as things you never thought you needed to know. It redeems Anakin’s character, builds on his and Obi-Wan’s relationship, humanizes the clones, shows how war affects different people, gets deeper into the corruption of politics, etc. Very, very well done!

It does have some random filler episodes, but overall it keeps things interesting even when it’s not focusing on main characters. And while the first season is catered a little more towards kids, by the last couple seasons it most certainly is NOT a kid’s show anymore.


1) The Mandalorian

Set a few years after “Return of the Jedi,” it follows a Mandalorian bounty hunter and his exploits.

Greatest thing to come out of Star Wars. Period. I cannot think of a flaw. It is simply amazing! Characters, sets, costumes, acting, action, effects, story, emotion, EVERYTHING!!! It is something that has to be witnessed. I just cannot praise this show enough. It’s one of my favorites. I didn’t even get mad when he hijacked one of Boba Fett’s episodes because I love him so much. 

I don’t think I’ve ever ACTUALLY cried over anything in Star Wars until this show. I was literally weeping over the season 2 finale. It brought out so many emotions at once, I couldn’t handle it. 

Saturday, November 6, 2021

My Favorite Rom-Coms

My favorites as of 2021 in alphabetical order...

Austenland... Keri Russel and JJ Field

Jane, who is absolutely obsessed with Jane Austen’s novels, gets the opportunity to travel to England and participate in a realistic “Austen experience”; where everyone dresses for the time, participates in the proper activities, uses the right manners, etc. There are also actors hired to enhance the experience and even add a little romance… which serves to confuse everyone because then reality begins to blur with fiction. What is real and what is not?

This movie is 100% ridiculous and hilarious! There’s something even more hilarious you catch onto with every rewatch. There’s so much random crap happening in the foreground and the background and I love it. Like, why are there stuffed peacocks sitting in stacks of hay? Or with the servants, all the men are super hunky and all the women are old hags lolol. It’s so quotable with all its random stuff. It’s kind of Nacho Libre/Napoleon Dynamite-esque. “He’s a vegan and he has a pony named Sparkles-pancake.” 

But then, the romance is set up very much like a Jane Austen novel, and it’s all very sweet and charming. But then it catches you off guard because you don’t think of it as a Jane Austen novel… because it’s modern. I love it and everyone has great chemistry. Definitely worth a watch, especially if you like Jane Austen.


Blended... Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore

Lauren and Jim are both single parents forced to go on a blind date with each other. It doesn’t go well and they decide they never want to see each other again. However, through a set of unfortunate yet fortuitous set of circumstances, they end up taking their kids on the same trip to Africa for a “blended family vacation.” 

I thought this one was just alright on first watch, but it’s grown on me more and more. What I really appreciate about it is that the romance isn’t really at the forefront. I mean, it’s definitely a big part of it, but it focuses a lot on what makes a family work and why it’s important… why kids need a dad as much as a mom and vice-versa. It does have some of that raunchy humor that is common in an Adam Sandler movie, but I honestly didn’t think it was as bad as it sometimes is. I really like it.


Ever After... Drew Barrymore and Dougray Scott

A more realistic telling of the Cinderella story, taking place in medieval France. Shortly after her father remarries, Danielle’s father dies of a heart attack. Years later, her stepmother and sister have run the estate into ruin and Danielle is left working with the servants in an attempt to keep the place afloat. One day, while posing as a courtier in an attempt to buy back a servant, Danielle catches the eye of the prince who then continually seeks her out thereafter. 

Probably one of the best Cinderella stories ever put to film. It’s not necessarily because it’s realistic or anything, but I love how it portrays all the relationships between the characters. The buildup with the prince and her is so well done; it’s not like they meet one night and boom, they’re in love. And then the stepmother is horribly cruel and yet, sort of sympathetic sometimes. Danielle herself is a great character with a lot of depth and spunk. It’s just a great film!


Fever Pitch... Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon

Ben begins dating Lucy, a driven and hardworking business woman. Their relationship flourishes and they fall madly in love. However, when baseball season approaches, Lucy soon learns about one of Ben’s true passions: he is 110% obsessed with the Boston Red Sox. 

I realized that I have a lot of Drew Barrymore movies on here. I randomly discovered this one. I can’t even remember how because it’s never on anyone’s radar. But it’s super cute. What I really appreciate about it is that it’s not about how the couple gets together. It’s about the ups and downs of their relationship and how they try to make it work and how they compromise. I love that! It’s so realistic, but still so sweet. You kind of switch sides with both of their POV throughout the film. Both characters are so likable and it’s nice to watch them work together through this totally funny and kind of absurd situation (actually, I know it’s not THAT absurd. Some guys do get REALLY into their sports. But it’s kind of exaggerated in this movie lol). It’s just a really enjoyable film… plus Jimmy Fallon acting. What? 


Isn’t It Romantic?... Rebel Wilson and Liam Hmsworth and Adam Devine

Natalie is a bit of a doormat to everyone around her and is a serious cynic when it comes to love. She particularly hates romantic comedies, believing they are lies about real life. However, after getting mugged and knocked unconscious, she wakes up in her worst nightmare: she is the main character of her own romantic comedy.  

This movie is straight hilarious from beginning to end. Rebel Wilson is a treasure. I love how self-aware it is of all the rom-com cliches even as they play out. All the commentaries on them are so funny. This is the most cliched rom-com I think I’ve ever seen, but, of course, it’s making fun of it the entire time. All the supporting cast is too perfect. Liam Hemsworth is such a ham as the potential love interest. And probably one of my favorite bits is the karaoke scene. So good! I also love the message it gets across that you have to love yourself before you can love and be loved by others. Amen to that!


It Happened One Night... Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert

Rich, spoiled socialite Ellie escapes her controlling father in an attempt to reach her new husband (whom she married out of rebellion). Now on the run, she travels incognito on a bus and runs into fast taking, street smart reporter, Peter who recognizes her immediately. They begrudgingly make a deal to help each other get what they want: Peter, the story of a lifetime, and Ellie, to reach her husband before her father finds her.

The original movie rom-com. You can see all the “cliches” before they were cliches. It all started here. It’s so charming. Clarke Gable and Claudette Colbert have such a good chemistry. I think they’re hilarious and I love how they just yell at each other and tell each other off because they’re so different. Even though it’s an old film, you barely notice it because it has such a modern story. I’ve personally watched this many times because it’s so fun. 


Just Like Heaven... Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo

Grieving widower David rents a new apartment, but soon finds he is repeatedly seeing a woman who claims that she also lives there. They finally realize that she is the spirit of the previous tenet and set out to figure out who she is and what happened to her.

This movie is so sweet. It might sound a little ridiculous, but I honestly really enjoy it. It does sort of get a little cheesy, but that's what makes a rom-com so good sometimes, right? It’s surprisingly good at balancing out the funny and the emotional without feeling too cheap. 


Knight and Day... Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise

While on a flight, June hits it off with fellow passenger Roy. Little does she know that Roy is a wanted secret agent who has supposedly gone rogue. Before she knows it, she is swept up in a wild adventure that takes her all over the world and she begins to wonder if she can really trust this man or not.

I really slept on this one for a long time, but after finally watching it, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I thought it was just going to be a cheap cash grab with two big stars and all. But, surprisingly, I really liked their chemistry (and that's what's most important in a rom-com, right?). The dynamic of her freaking out the entire time while he's just totally chill is so funny. You'd think it would get old, but it doesn't. And then, obviously, it's also an action flick which is a bonus. The action is pretty solid, nothing mind-blowing, but it does get sort of intense sometimes. It's just a fun watch.


Mirror Mirror... Lily Collins and Armie Hammer

A twist on the Snow White story. After she is banished by her wicked stepmother, the princess Snow White teams up with a group of bandits, seven dwarfs, to wreck havoc on the queen. Meanwhile, a visiting prince is torn between his admiration for Snow White and his loyalty to the crown.

I'll admit, I wasn't overwhelmed by this one at first, but the more I watch it, the more I love it. First of all, I just love a good fairytale and second, this is a totally hilarious film. All the dwarfs are so funny and their bickering is great. And then don't even get me started on the prince. He's too much! Armie Hammer is perf in the role! Then there's the overall design of the film-- the costumes, the aesthetic-- it definitely has a look. It's really grown on me and totally adds to it all. The freakin' ball scene with all the stupid costumes! Lol


Much Ado About Nothing (1993)... Emma Thomson and Kenneth Branagh

Beatrice and Benedick have a long-standing rivalry. Every time they meet, they always have to one-up each other in a battle of wits. Meanwhile, Benedick’s friend and Beatrice’s cousin have fallen in love and are getting married. However, the prince’s bitter brother wants to stir up trouble any way he can and sees the upcoming marriage as a prime target for sabotage.

Even though this story has been told for hundreds of years, this is my favorite adaption. Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh have amazing chemistry as Beatrice and Benedick. It’s so funny! All the actors are so on point (except for Keanu Reeves as Don John… he was an odd choice). I just love this story so much. One of my favorite Shakespeare plays!


Pride and Prejudice (1995)... Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth

The Bennets have five daughters whom Mrs. Bennet is eager to marry off to rich men as soon as possible. It so happens that a rich young man moves into the neighborhood and falls in love with the eldest girl. His friend Mr. Darcy, however, is very unpleasant and rude and Elizabeth, the second daughter, finds herself loathing him more and more with each encounter. Unfortunately for her, he finds himself falling harder and harder for her.

How can you not love this story? Literally the original rom-com. It’s got all the tropes that we love: miscommunication, the “other guy”, disliking each other at the start, etc. In this case, I’m going with the 1995 mini series as the best version. So perf!


The Proposal... Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds

Margaret is a high driven editor at a major book company who overworks her assistant, Andrew. Andrew secretly despises her, but lets her walk all over him in hopes that she will eventually promote him. One day, Margaret’s bosses reveal that she is going to be deported and will not be able to work for them anymore. Thinking quickly, she lies and says that she and Andrew are getting married. Andrew goes along with it in exchange for the promotion. However, an agent is onto the ruse and the couple are forced to prove their validity by spending the weekend at Andrew’s parents’s house.

Sandra Bullock is queen! She was in a lot more rom-coms in the 90s, but I’m glad she did this one more recently. Also, Ryan Reynolds is always a hoot. I’ve found that a lot of the humor in this one is kind of dry and witty… at least when it comes to the dialogue. As it is a more modern flick, of course it includes a little bit of that raunchy humor and that’s the more physical stuff, but what can you do?


Sense and Sensibility... Emma Thompson and Hugh Grant and Kate Winslet and Alan Rickman

After their father dies, reserved Elinor and passionate Marianne are forced out of their home with their mother and younger sister, but not before Elinor falls in love with shy Edward. However, romance is not as easy as it should be. Secrets begin to come out, more bachelors are introduced, kooky neighbors come around, and propriety goes out the window.

Another Jane Austen one. When I was younger, I didn’t fully appreciate this one. I didn’t think it was very funny because all the humor is in the dialogue and what is not said… the stuff you don’t pick up on when you’re young. Now, I think it’s hilarious! It’s not quite as funny as Pride and Prejudice, but it’s still there.


To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before... Lana Condor and Noah Centineo

Lara Jean writes secret loves letters to all the boys she ever fell in love with, but never says anything to them. However, one day, mysteriously, all the letters get sent. Soon, all of the past lovers are confronting her one-by-one. One of them, Peter, seeing her awkward situation, makes a deal with her: they could pretend to be a couple. He wants to make his ex jealous and she wants to get all these guys off her back… win-win.

I haven’t actually seen this one in a long time, but I remember liking it a lot. I thought it was really sweet and the actors had great chemistry. I know that Noah Centineo rubs some people the wrong way, but I don’t spend a lot of time on Twitter or anything, so I only see him as Peter and that’s it. 


Warm Bodies... Nicholas Holt and Teresa Palmer

During a zombie apocalypse, one zombie who can only remember himself as “R” saves a girl from an attack. Though initially afraid of him, they start to bond as he takes her back home. She begins to wonder if zombies might be able to come back to life through emotional connection.

I avoided this one for a long time because it gave me Twilight vibes. Like, a girl falling in love with a monster. But, I finally watched it a couple years ago and found it was WAY better than Twilight. It was so cute and so creative. I love the message: humans just need emotional connection and to be loved no matter how dead inside (or outside lol) they are. 


The Wedding Singer... Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore

Robbie is the best wedding singer in town. However, everything falls apart when he is left at the altar and he finds he can’t stand to be around weddings anymore. Meanwhile, he befriends a catering waitress who is planning her own wedding and since he knows all about weddings, he offers her advice on the subject.

One of my favs. I love the way it all plays out and the buildup to everything is perfect! It might be super cliche in a lot of ways, but it’s so sweet and we love the cliches for a reason. Sure, there’s a few of those trademark Adam Sandler raunchy moments, but it’s quite tame for the most part.


When in Rome... Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel

After being scorned by love one too many times, Beth drunkenly takes several coins out of the Fountain of Love while visiting Rome. What she doesn’t know is that this unleashes a curse and all the men who threw those coins in now are suddenly in love with her and begin pursuing her and going to great lengths to profess their love. 

Another over-the-top, ridiculous one. The humor in this one is just too much! Lolol All the guys are so over the top and it’s hilarious! Of course it’s obvious which one she’s going to fall in love with because there’s only one normal guy (and even he has some quirks haha!). So quotable and hilarious and very fun!


While You Were Sleeping... Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman

A lonely transit worker fantasizes over a handsome stranger who passes by everyday, but never says anything to him. But then finally fate steps into help. She saves his life one day after he is mugged and he falls into a coma. At the hospital, she is mistaken for his fiancée and is unable to reveal the truth to his grieving family. So, she finds herself spending more and more time with them and is forced to keep up the charade. 

Probably my all-time favorite rom-com. It’s a perfect balance of funny, sweet, charming, sentimental, awkward, heart-wrenching, and fun. All the characters are likable and hilarious and the lines are totally quotable. And while the story might seem ridiculous, a little sad, and even creepy, it comes across so well and it totally works. Our two romantic leads have amazing chemistry and you are rooting for them the entire time. Amazing, perfection, sublime! *chef’s kiss*


You’ve Got Mail... Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks

Kathleen and Joe are in love. They chat daily about all sorts of things, give each other advice, and are the highlights of each other’s days… unfortunately they haven’t actually met. They are anonymous email pals. In real life, Joe’s new superstore threatens to put Kathleen’s small shop out of business and they engage in an intense rivalry, not realizing they already know each other.

Another totally quotable one. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks work off each other so well. I love it! The supporting cast is also hilarious. Don’t even get me started on Greg Kinnear as Frank. I love him (and his typewriter). The double lives they lead and how they don’t know the person they’re in love with is the person they loath. Ah! Amazing! Just shows that you often need to get past frivolous things and get to know a person. “That caviar is a garnish!” So funny!



HONORABLE MENTIONS:

13 Going on 30... Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo

Jenna is a thirteen-year-old who wants to be popular and struggles with adjusting to teenage life. After a disastrous birthday that was supposed to change her life and her status, she breaks down and wishes to be “thirty, flirty, and thriving.” The next day, she wakes up as exactly that. Mentally, she’s still thirteen, but she’s suddenly thirty-years-old and has the perfect life, the perfect job, the perfect everything… but is everything as glamorous as it seems?


50 First Dates... Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore

Henry is a playboy who has his heart set on romancing a beautiful girl in a diner. However, after one successful encounter, the next day, she suddenly doesn’t seem to remember him. He soon finds out that she has short-term memory loss. He then finds himself having to woo her every single day, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.


Clueless... Alicia Silverstone and Paul Rudd

A modern retelling of Jane Austen’s Emma. Cher is beautiful, rich, and popular. She makes it her goal in life to share these traits with everyone else. She especially believes she is gifted in pairing people together romantically. A new girl moves to the school and Cher makes her her personal project to improve her lifestyle. However, things begin to fall apart as Cher realizes she is not as skilled and observant as she once thought she was.


Decoy Bride... Kelly Macdonald and David Tennant

A big time Hollywood actress just wants a private wedding away from the paparazzi, so she chooses a remote Scottish island. However, even on the island, some paparazzi still find her and she goes into hiding. Her publicist panics and decides to have a fake wedding with a decoy bride. He finds a girl on the island to stage a wedding with the husband-to-be. However, things go sideways and the decoy bride and fiancé find themselves trekking all over the island.


The Holiday... Cameron Diaz and Jude Law and Kate Winslet and Jack Black

Rose and Amanda live on opposite sides of the world, but are in similar situations: the have both been scorned by love and are looking to get away. They find each other online and agree to a house swap— they will live in each other’s houses for a time. However, what was meant as an escape from love turns into a new opportunity.

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Top 10 New Girl Episodes

I watched the entirety of New Girl recently and now I am in the process of rewatching it.  


Every sitcom has a certain style and humor. Usually you can watch it and understand what it's trying to do and maybe laugh at some of the physical humor or enjoy the actors's performances or whatever, but until it clicks for you how the show works, you never TRULY enjoy it. 


For example, The Office. It relies on making you uncomfortable. All the characters are weird and cringey. However, it's a character-driven show. The only way to really enjoy it is if you understand the characters. Once you get a grasp on how individually stupid everyone is, you can then become more comfortable with laughing at their antics because you understand them. 

This is how it was for me and New Girl. I had a sort of difficult time getting into it at first. I could tell it was funny and could understand why people found it funny, but I personally wasn't SUPER into it for a while. It wasn't until about season 3 when it did finally click (I know, that's kind of late). It was such a small, kind of insignificant moment, but I suddenly understood... This is also a character-driven show, but it's not like The Office where they're cringey, socially-inept weirdos... in this case, they're just awkward weirdos with completely different personalities who are friends for some reason. And they're all so STUPID! It's all kind of a contradiction; they're functioning adults and APPEAR as functioning adults, but they do the most insane things and get into the weirdest situations as a result of their own stupidity.

Well anyways, I've found it hysterical ever since that moment clicked for me and going back on the rewatch, everything else is 10x funnier. 


(If you're wondering what that moment was... It was in 3x12 when Schmidt is upset that his older colleague is upstaging him at work and stealing his ideas. He and Winston are trying to figure out how to overthrow him, but don't know anybody his age. Suddenly, Nick sits down and starts complaining about how he doesn't want to use his camera's phone because the government is watching through it... It's just, at that moment I knew that Nick was the old man and I always knew he was and I realized that I always knew that. And once I did... everything all fell into place.)


So I've compiled a list of my favorite New Girl episodes:


10) Table 34 (2x16)

After a spontaneous kiss, Jess and Nick try to avoid each other by attending an Indian marriage conference with Cece and Schmidt respectively.

I like this one because it’s obviously very funny, but it also doesn’t give us exactly everything you’re expecting. The previous episode (which I will go into shortly) was one of those “YES!! FINALLY!!!” episodes, so this is the aftermath. It’s good because it’s not a happily ever after, everything is given to you with a bow on top. However, it’s not a huge disappointment either. I LOVE that they’re at this marriage convention (basically like hardcore speed dating). So all these characters are thrown together in different scenarios with all their different mindsets. It’s just a great way to deal with the repercussions of the last episode. 

QUOTE: “You know why we’re at Table 34?”

“Because we’re both bad at life, but we’ve got model good looks.”


9) Parking Spot (2x17)

Schmidt discovers a free parking spot which all the roommates battle for. 

I love how much things escalate in this episode. Total typical sitcom fashion. But what really gets me is that this is still post-kiss awkwardness and how it plays into everything. The way Schmidt finally finds out is hilarious. The side story with Winston trying to find a condom is whatever. It’s another example of things taken to the extreme, but in this case it doesn’t actually work, especially when it’s side-by-side with another story that totally works. 

QUOTE: "You think that I'm blind? You think that I can't hear it? You think that I can't smell it? The stench of filth and lust is all over this room. It smells like frickin' Tijuana!"


8) Pepperwood (2x14)

Jess believes she is finally making progress with one of her creative writing students, but Nick is suspicious of his gruesome descriptions. So, he goes undercover in Jess’s class to spy on him. Meanwhile, Schmidt tries to get Winston to tell him what everyone talks about behind his back.

The birth of Julius Pepperwood! Both stories in this episode are great, but I am quite partial to the main plot with the creative writing student. He DOES legit seem like a serial killer! It’s hilarious! We love a good Nick/Jess mess around. “Apricots!” There’s so many gems in this one.

QUOTE: “I’m from Chicago. Thin crust pizza? No thank you. I’m from Chicago."


7) Injured (1x15)

After getting injured during a game of touch football, Nick goes to Jess’s gynecologist friend for a checkup. However, he gets more than he bargained for and soon his friends are preparing for his inevitable death.

At first glance, I wasn’t overwhelmed by this one, but on a second viewing, I REALLY liked it. It’s SO funny and it’s also got a lot of heart and emotion behind it. The entire scene where they’re at the bar singing the “sad song”… I cannot even! I'm pretty sure the majority of that was improvised. It had to be. But then it’s got these other moments like Nick having a full breakdown (like, it actually surprised me how emotional it got) and then everyone pitching in to pay the medical bill. Man, it’s such a good episode!

QUOTE: “You don’t get to speak at my funeral. My funeral is my time to shine!”


6) Cooler (2x15)

The guys leave Jess behind when they decide to go clubbing, believing she is their “cooler” (the PG term for "cock block"). However, Jess finds herself increasingly bored, lonely, and afraid. Meanwhile, Schmidt and Nick vie for the attention of a woman who is turned on by other’s sadness.

If this episode isn’t on your list, are you even a New Girl fan? Absolutely iconic! Even without that ending, it’s still a really good episode. A return of the True American game. I love the Nick melon that Jess makes— the hoodie, the stubble, the frown, and I noticed that it’s even holding a beer which cracks me up. Brenda Song makes an appearance which, as a Disney Channel fan, was fun to see. Then, of course, that phenomenal kiss! I mean, the buildup to it was so good. And then they make you think it’s not going to happen and then BAM! *applauds*

QUOTE: “It’s not you. It’s the way that you behave, the things that you say, the look on your face.”


5) Landlord (1x12)

Against the guys’s warnings, Jess attempts to befriend the surly landlord. The man soon becomes the subject of debate between Jess and Nick on whether people are inherently good or bad. Schmidt, meanwhile, attempts to figure out if his boss is coming onto him.

This episode was the first episode that truly cracked me up on first viewing. From the guys’s mad scramble to throw Schmidt’s stuff out the window to Nick’s story about why people are the worst to Schmidt’s New Years resolutions to the grand finale of the three way! Everything about that three way scene is priceless! The song, the dancing, Nick’s facial expressions… I cannot!

QUOTE: "He has a gun and you're dressed like a bullseye!"


4) Spiderhunt (4x17)

Jess organizes a hunt for a spider in the apartment. Cece deals with her feelings for Schmidt, but Jess misinterprets and believes she has feelings for Nick. Coach, meanwhile, tries to write an email to a girl he likes.

The popcorn machine. Need I say more? That is some classic comic misunderstanding right there. Absolutely hysterical! Someone pointed out it's kind of like the game in Whose Line is it Anyway "Things you can say about ___, but not your girlfriend." It 100% is! Things you can say about a popcorn machine, but not Cece. All the plots in this are pretty good-- Nick's mysterious "sauce", Schmidt's over-the-top fear of spiders, Coach's weird drafts of his email, and of course the entire thing with Cece, Winston, and Jess (and eventually Nick). I know the running gag through the show is that Nick is a terrible liar, but man, Winston is up there lol. The ways he tries to cover for Cece is too much. I can't believe Jess actually falls for Cece liking Nick. I would believe her liking Winston before she liked Nick (which he tried to sell her on first lolz). But I cannot get over "he said she ugly. He said she look like a dang ol' meatball with hair." OMG! I love all these characters so much! And the actual spider hunt itself is so ridiculous. The teams and their tasks XD

QUOTE: "It could be right above our heads right now hanging by its butt rope."


3) Prince (3x14)

Jess and Cece are invited to a high-end party hosted by the one and only Prince. However, the entire night is thrown into chaos when Nick accidentally tells Jess something he shouldn’t have and the guys decide to crash the party as well to set things right.

This episode had the first moment where I had to rewind and watch again because it was so funny: Nick and Jess meeting Prince for the first time. Absolutely iconic! Also, “Fire and Ice” is so random and I can’t believe it actually works. I love Nick and Schmidt’s alternative that completely flops so Nick “Trojan Horses” in with models. Why is this show so funny!? Of course, this episode is absolutely key to a significant turn in Nick and Jess’s relationship. Love to see it! Then, obviously, me must address the fact that it is actually Prince starring as himself. And yes, he sings. 

QUOTE: “How did you know the words?” 

“I think Prince is magic.” 

“I’ve always thought Prince was magic.”


2) Quick Hardening Caulk (2x19)

Jess suddenly finds herself yearning madly for an oblivious Nick who is working hard to impress his new boss. Meanwhile, Schmidt becomes obsessed with obtaining a rare California Lion Fish.

I always thought the first choice pick for this list was obvious, but I rewatched this one recently and suddenly I was torn. This episode is hi-LAR-ious! Absolutely every single moment is gold! The entire scene in the hardware store is too much! Nick and the chain! Why is he pulling it like that? And the innuendos. Why!? And then Jess on drugs is the best. Can we give a shoutout to Bob? The ultimate homie? Lol Also, that ending— even though it didn’t go anywhere— was extremely satisfying. Then we have the very iconic bit of Schmidt projecting his very obvious desire for Cece into his desire for the Lion Fish. Him and Winston in the ocean! Oh my word!

QUOTE: “I don’t want some janky freshwater bitch fish, Winston. I want a Lion Fish.”


1) Background Check (4x06)

To wrap up Winston’s police training, a sergeant is stopping by the Loft for a background check. Unfortunately, Jess lets everyone know that she has a huge bag of meth hidden in her closet. Everything descends into complete madness as everyone attempts to distract the sergeant, dispose of the meth, and talk Winston up all while appearing completely normal.

It was kind of a debate between this one and “Quick Hardening Caulk.” Both are equally hysterical and fun. But I decided to rate this one as number one because every single character is involved (even Coach and Cece) and it all (for the most part) takes place in the Loft. That can be difficult to juggle around, but this episode pulls it off perfectly. The anarchy this episode descends into; I love it! It’s also got one of my favorite reoccurring jokes at center stage: Nick’s inability to lie. I cannot even begin to describe everything that happens in this episode, there’s so much ridiculousness and hilarity. It’s really something that has to be witnessed.

QUOTE: "It's from Sergeant Tess Dorado. The Fish. I'm pretty sure they call her The Fish because she's tough but fair, just like most fish I've interacted with."

"Winston, "dorado" is a fish. It's a subset of mahi-mahi and it pairs very nicely with citrus, you oaf."


HONOARABLE MENTIONS:

Naked (1x04)

Approaching his first date since his breakup with Caroline, Nick tries to hype himself up by dancing naked in his room. Unfortunately, Jess walks in on him and completely breaks what little confidence he had. Meanwhile, Winston tries to catch up on the two years of pop culture he missed while in Latvia. Schmidt realizes he is the only one who hasn’t seen Nick’s penis and makes it his mission to see it.


Fluffer (2x03)

Nick worries that he night be filling Jess's emotional needs since her relationship with Sam is purely physical... becoming her boyfriend without the rewards. Meanwhile, Schmidt poses as a Romney brother in an attempt seduce some women.


Menzies (2x07)

Schmidt brings down the hammer with Jess, shutting everything down until she pays her bills, forcing her to go find a job. Unfortunately for her, she happens to be menstruating which sabotages her chances. Winston believes he is getting his period. Nick befriends a man on a bench and attempts to overcome his anger problems.


Coach (3x07)

When Coach comes back to town, he takes the guys out for a wild night to a strip club. Jess is upset at Nick for going and for not being able to call her his girlfriend, so she seeks revenge by having "hot conversation" with an attractive coffee shop owner.


Basketsball (3x12)

Jess seeks to befriend Coach by watching basketball with him. Nick grows jealous that Jess is pretending to like his rival team. Meanwhile, Winston shadows Schmidt at work where there is a new hire: an old man.


Dance (3x22)

Jess is in charge of a dance at her school, but someone is out to sabotage it. She has to call in her friends to chaperone while they search for the saboteur.