You've Got to Get Smart

I've noticed something... I've loved (obsessed over) a lot of things over the years and eventually they've all ended up on this blog at least once. And over this past week, it has come to my attention that one of my major (past) obsessions has not had its turn. A few years back, a certain TV show came to my attention (what? A TV show? You? No!). A quite old, very classic TV show from the 60's. A spy show. James Bond? Ha! Nope. Was that even a TV show? I think that was just like a bajillion movies compiled together. Anyways, the 60's were a very popular time for spy movies and TV shows because of the Cold War, so the creative comedy team of Mel Brooks and Buck Henry got together to create a sort of spoof/satire on the genre. It was picked up and wildly accepted by thousands. Thus 'Get Smart' was born.

The title is a sort of play on words. If you don't know anything about the show, you'd think it was a command to mentally get smart and you'd just be like "what?". Actually, it's a different sort of command in reference to the title character whose last name is Smart, telling his enemies to physically go get Smart ("Where are you going?" "*cocking gun* To get Smart!" ...Something to that effect, ya know?). Although, if you know the show, it could be telling Smart to mentally get smart as well XD.

The basis of the show is about a bumbling (yet somehow very important and well-known) secret agent, Maxwell Smart, agent 86 who works for a top secret organization known as CONTROL. The show follows him as he battles his enemies and fights crime against the "international organization of evil" known as KAOS.

Some of the key characters (and my favorites) include:
MAXWELL (MAX) SMART- AGENT 86 played by Don Adams

The main character that the show follows. He is extremely clumsy, has a short attention span, is rather naive, oblivious, and a little bit full of himself ("He will get very sleepy and fall down a lot." "Won't that attract suspicion?" "Not with Maxwell Smart."). And yet despite all this he is still one of the top secret agents in the business. He's basically a satire on James Bond :) Because also, I might add, despite his not-so suave ways, un-pretty boy appearance, and general clumsiness, he still attracts all the ladies XD. It's funny, KAOS usually knows how bumbling and ridiculous he is, but they still see him as a threat, whether a large one or a minor one-- usually a large one ("I have four times the intelligence you have and still you have managed to ruin my most brilliant schemes with your cunning stupidity!") He's not all klutzy, bumbling gooberness though, he has some good qualities that make a good spy. He's actually very skilled in hand-to-hand combat, a very good shot, pretty resourceful when it comes down to it (sometimes after a few whacky alternative ideas XD), he's fluent in many different languages (or at least has extensive knowledge of them), and one of his most fortunate qualities (I guess you could refer to it as) is that he is extremely lucky.
He has several catchphrases such as:
"And loving it."
"Missed it by that much."
"Would you believe...?"
"Sorry about that, Chief."
"If only he had only used his [insert object/action] for niceness instead of evil."
"The old... trick."
"I asked you not to tell me that."
"That's the second biggest [insert object] I've ever seen."
"I hope I wasn't out of line with that crack about the..."

AGENT 99 played by Barbara Feldon

Max's beautiful and much more capable partner (and eventual wife). They are often assigned cases together because they work so well together. Although a lot of the time 99 will come up with an idea or will get them out of a bad situation herself, she will often happily let Max take the credit for it  ("Didn't you notice anything strange?" "Of course not, 99. This is just an ordinary car wash." "But they didn't get out of their car." "Wait a minute, 99. There was something strange." "What was it?" "They didn't get out of their car!" "Good thinking, Max!"). Of course, Max does on more than one occasion save her life too. Her name is intentionally never revealed, although many times we're fooled into thinking it was ( "Ernestine." "That's the first time you've ever called me Ernestine." "I know." "I wish it were my name.").
99 has two catchphrases:
"Oh, Max."
"Good thinking, Max!"

CHIEF played by Edward Platt

The head of CONTROL and Max and 99's boss. Apparently he had a full head of hair when Max started at CONTROL and had lost it all by the time 99 started... two weeks later XD. His name is actually Thaddeus, but he is mostly only ever addressed as "Chief". He gets frequent migraines "only on occasions" ("Well you've had one every time I've been around." "Those are the occasions."). While he is usually rather grumpy and sarcastic with Max, he does actually care a lot about his well-being and depends on him a lot. He acts like a father figure towards Max (and sometimes 99) for personal issues outside the spy business.

SIEGFRIED played by Bernie Kopell

Vice President of Public Relations and Terrorism for KAOS and Max's "archenemy and good friend". There are several branches of KAOS, I'm pretty sure Siegfried is from the German branch based on his outrageous German accent. He is actually a lot like Max in many ways, just on a lesser scale. For example, he sometimes will do something like go to rest his hand on a table and accidentally stick it in a pitcher of water, then move the pitcher aside and do the exact same thing a moment later with the other hand. He also sort of thinks in the same mind frame as Max-- a little childish, a little outlandish, a little distracted. The two often speak fondly of one another, but also hate each other's guts. Despite his similarities to Max, Siegfried is extremely ruthless and fiendish with a bad temper ("Please try to stay calm." "I AM CALM! YOU SHOULD SEE ME WHEN I'M UPSET!").
He has two catchphrases:
"This is KAOS. We don't [insert action/sound effect] here."
"Fools! Dumkopfs! SISSIES!"

HYMIE played by Richard "Dick" Gautier

A robot built by a KAOS scientist, but turned to the side of CONTROL by Max. He is superhuman in strength, agility, speed, poison consumption, etc. He's like a computer, with a camera, calculator, and so on. He also takes commands literally, like with "kill the light", he would take out a gun and shoot the light bulb. Or "get a hold of yourself", he would grab both of his arms. Or "give me a hand", he would proceed to unscrew one of his hands. He is also "programmed for neatness", so he will frequently begin tidying up a room or a person's appearance if anything is out of place, he can't help it. Also, unlike other robots, he has emotions and is very sensitive. He is particularly attached to Max and is hurt anytime Max doesn't pay enough attention to him.

AGENT 13 played by Dave Ketchum

One of the agents on the side of CONTROL. He is always given assignments where he has to be stuffed in a garbage can, or a washing machine, or a sofa, or a vending machine, or a clock, or a locker, or a fireplace, or something of the like. He usually resents his assignments and will bitterly complain to Max whenever he makes contact.

SHTARKER played by King Moody

Siegfried's doofy sidekick. He is constantly yelled at and reprimanded by Siegfried (although he yells at basically everybody), mostly because of his frequent childish behavior. Though he can act devious and villainous when necessary. However, he is Siegfried's right-hand man and is actually quite dependable despite his ridiculousness.

LARABEE played by Robert Karvelas

Another reason for the Chief's migraines. Larabee is even worse than Max on levels of naiveté and bumbling, he's almost stupid. He's the Chief's assistant and Max's job security. I mean that because if Max gets fired, then Larabee becomes an active agent. Ha! ("I want you to arrest a man named Melnik" "How will I know him, Chief?" "You'll know him. He'll be the man who starts shooting at you." "Is he a good shot?" "I hope so.")

CHARLIE WATKINS- AGENT 38 played by Angelique Pettyjohn

Another agent of CONTROL. A master of disguise. A man who always dresses up as a sexy glamorous woman to go undercover to investigate certain places. While undercover, he disguises his voice, but when he talks to Max and/or 99 to divulge information, he uses his real voice.

FANG- AGENT K-13

Agent of CONTROL. Personally trained by Max... I'm sure that tells you everything (he's not very good at following instructions).

THE "CRAW" CLAW played by Leonard Strong

A member of KAOS, I'm sure from one of the Oriental/Asian branches. He's got a metal hook/claw-like hand, thus his actual name, "The Claw". His mispronouncing it because of his accent is where he gets the name "The Craw" which everyone knows him by.

ADRMIRAL HARGRADE played by William Schallert

The first chief of CONTROL. He's 91 years old and frequently falls over and falls asleep. He also has a very poor memory. He was Max's best man at his wedding (although it was an order from the Chief, but Max did say he was honored by the suggestion).


One of the most iconic things about the show is their frequent elaborate concealing of weapons, devices, etc. in common objects. Like a gun in a paintbrush, or a cigarette lighter in a steering wheel, or a gas mask in a

shoe, or a tape recorder in an ice cube, and so on. In fact, it happens so often, that the characters are surprised when their devices are not concealed elaborately. Like when Max is looking for a knife in 99's purse: "Which one is the knife?" "The knife." "The knife!?". The most famous of these is the concealing of the phones, the most iconic being the shoe phone. I read somewhere that there has been over 50 different phones over the show's run. While I don't doubt that in the slightest, somehow I think that 50 is a little low. There was probably 50 different phones in like the first season! Seriously, if you name an object, it's probably been a phone at some point on this show.

Another thing I found funny was how CONTROL and KAOS were run like any other ordinary company. Like with raises, cut-backs, promotions, days off, clocking in and out, etc. While I don't exactly know how a government spy agencies works with promotions and whatever, I'm sure it's not how Get Smart portrays it XD ("There's something far more important than medals, 99." "What's that?" "It's after 6:00. I get overtime.").

Then there's Max and 99. I was only going to briefly go over their relationship in 99's section, but it just kept getting longer and longer, so I had to give it its own section. On the show (and maybe outside of it too), outside eyes often refer to 99 as Max's girlfriend or "his girl", but Max always insists that they are "just

friends". They do know each other better than anybody though, according to the Chief. Throughout the entirety of the show, 99 is obviously in love with Max, her jealousy showing through on several occasions, but he is generally oblivious to it and refuses to see her as anything other than a fellow agent. Although, occasionally he does get jealous too if another man comes into her life or she is going to be taken away from him.  However, their relationship finally comes to its peak when Max finally comes to terms with his feelings for 99 and proposes to her when he believes they are not going to make it out of a mission alive. However, with the extra incentive, 99 figures a way out and they become engaged. They do eventually marry. Yes, yes, if you've seen the show, you've seen 99's wedding outfit and you probably were like "...wut?". Let me tell you, the producers or the writers or whoever wanted a unique wedding dress for 99 since she was such a female icon. They didn't want her to be just any woman getting married in just any dress. So they came up with... well, the flower helmet thing. But still, "...wut?". Even Barbara Feldon was like "...wut?". Anyways, what I like is that Max and 99 always keep their best friend sort of relationship even after they're married. They know each other better than anybody and know how to handle one another (especially 99 with Max's antics). They do have twins eventually (but I don't like to mention that, since that was part of the series's downfall).

"I'm concerned about the conference room."
"What?"
"I'M CONCERNED ABOUT THE CONFERENCE ROOM!"
"How's that?"

Also, I have to mention the Cone of Silence, because you can't talk about this show and not bring up the Cone of Silence. One of my favorite running gags. ("Wait a minute, Chief. Isn't this top secret?" "Yes, Max." "Well shouldn't we activate the Cone of Silence?").

The show's humor is so great. It's just that sort of dumb, exaggerated, predictable humor, you know?
Even though it's pretty predictable-- especially after you get familiar with the running jokes, catchphrases, and character's personalities-- it is still so funny. I don't know, you can't really help, but laugh and maybe even say the line(s) along with the characters because you know it's coming. Like every time Max puts down the invisible wall, you know he's going to walk right into it in a minute. Or whenever someone tells Max how dangerous a mission will be and finishes it with "you'll be in extreme danger every minute" (or something of the like), you know he's going to respond with "and loving it". Or if there's an ashtray with a couple of cigarettes sitting on the Chief's desk, you know Max is going to send it flying in a minute by pounding his fist on the desk. Or when Max is locking an elaborate set of locks on his door, you know there's going to be a knock and he's going to have to reopen it as soon as he's finished. And so on. And yet, somehow, I still find it all hilarious.
And the exaggerated, outrageous humor is really something to love. It's just how they portray certain situations. Like with their ridiculous gadgets and the concealing of them. Because wouldn't it just be more logical and more convenient for them to just carry the knife, gun, phone, or whatever as a normal object instead of in this elaborate, almost conspicuous way? I mean, I suppose it would be funny enough as it is whenever they're presented with a new whacky gadget, but the fact that they always treat them with such awe and/or as though they're just normal objects makes it all the more hilarious.
And the way that they make everything so exaggerated and outlandish, but it all almost makes sense is the best. For example, at the same time, they'll be given a cigarette lighter that's really a phone, and a phone that's really a cigarette lighter. Like, why not just make the objects their own thing? "Because that way no one will suspect". See? That almost makes sense... but still XD. Or like in one episode, Siegfried kidnaps the Chief hoping for a ransom, but instead, Max kidnaps one of KAOS's top agents to trade instead. They then commence to kidnap each other's agents until they are the only ones remaining on either side and have to sit down and negotiate a trade back. Like, how ridiculous is that situation? But it almost makes sense, right? And it is downright hilarious! (That's one of my all-time favorite episodes BTW).
Also, I think if there were any different actors portraying these characters, it just wouldn't be the same. My gosh, some of Don Adams's physical acting is freakin' hilarious. And his facial expressions are fantastic!

A good example of the predictable humor. Watch it and tell me

as soon as Max gets a hold of that gun and finds out how it works 

that you don't know exactly what's going to happen.

A classic scene from the show. Also a good example of the 

physical comedy and Don Adams's facial reactions. So 

flippin' hilarious, I'll tell ya XD.

SOME QUOTES:

Chief: How can we believe a man who would sell out his friends?
Siegfried: Dumkopf! Who else are you supposed to sell out? You can't betray enemies!

KAOS Agent: Look, I'm a sportsman. I'll let you pick the way you want to die.
Max: Oh, OK. Uh, how about old age?

Max: Here's my suicide pill. It's raspberry this month. Want to try?
Siegfried: No thanks.
Max: Go ahead, it's not habit forming.
Siegfried: No!

After Hymie almost kills the Chief.
99: Well what are we going to do?
Chief: We'll have to destroy him.
Max: Destroy him?! You can't destroy Hymie. Hymie's my friend.
Chief: Max, this friend just broke through my office door, smashed my desk to pieces, and almost strangled me with his bare hands. How do you explain that?!
Max: I said he was my friend, not yours.

Siegfried holds Max and 99 at gunpoint and takes their guns for the second time.
Siegfried: All is not lost for KAOS. Guns please! Come on 99, your gun... quickly!
Max: (hands a card to Siegfried) Here.
Siegfried: What is this?
Max: My permit, you might as well take it. You use my guns more than I do.

Max has used a special salve on his face to grow a full beard in only one week.
Chief: Will it grow hair on your head too?
Max: No, I'm sorry, Chief. But I'll tell you what you can do: You can put the salve on your face and when the hair grows real long, you can comb it back over your head.
Chief: That is the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard!
Max: It is?
Chief: Yes.
Max: Then don't do it.

The Leader: Did you ever play with Phil Felini?
Max: Ehh... Phil? Phil Felini? Yes, as a matter a fact it was my last job.
The Leader: How was Phil?
Max: Who? Oh Phil! Yes! Well he's been working very hard and he's very tired. And when I saw him just last week, he didn't look too good.
The Leader: Phil Felini's been dead six months.
Max: Well in that case, he didn't look too bad.

A bomb is planted at Max's bachelor party.
Max: Chief, you can’t just come right out and tell them, you’ve got to ease into it.
Chief: Max, they’re CONTROL agents, they’re used to danger. They won’t panic.
Max: Chief, I think I should open with a joke.
Chief: Max, tell them.
Max: (into microphone) Uh, gentlemen, I don’t exactly know how to tell you this, but there’s a bomb planted in Hymie.
All the CONTROL agents scream and scramble for the door.
[later]
99 enters
99: Max, what happened?
Max: The Chief wouldn't let me open with a joke.

The Chief is knocked unconscious while on a ransom call from Siegfried to Max.
Siegfried: Smart.
Max: What happened?
Siegfried: Your Chief was just silenced by a pistol butt.
Max: Well that's a little drastic, isn't it Siegfried? Couldn't you have just shushed him?
Siegfried: We don't shush here!

Siegfried is attempting to hide his submarine on the bottom on the ocean.
Siegfried: I want to see if they know our position. I want complete silence!
A KAOS agent is making noise.
Max: Shhh!
Siegfried: You don't shush here! I shush here! (To his men) SHUSH!

Max and the Chief have eaten poisoned mousse.
Max: I'm going into the kitchen to destroy that recipe.
Chief: What if you can't find it?
Max: Then I'm going to destroy the kitchen.

Dr. Canyon: Mr. Smart used up all the formula.
Chief: Well can't you make some more?
Dr. Canyon: I can, but it will take me five hours.
Chief: We don't have that much time. Max, it's up to you.
Max: Well I'll try, Chief. But I doubt if I could make the formula any faster than Dr. Canyon.

Max tries to talk Siegfried's men into mutiny.
Siegfried: Mutiny? Don't be ridiculous, they will not mutiny. Cover them!
99: Men, think of your wives and children.
They point their guns at Siegfried.
Siegfried: Dumkopfs, none of you are married.
They point their guns at Max and 99.
Max: Listen, are you going to gamble and take the one small chance you've got to get out of here alive? Or are you going to surrender and be guaranteed... life imprisonment?
They point their guns at Siegfried.
Siegfried: I hope you realize a mutiny might affect your pensions.
They point their guns at Max and 99.
Max: We're prepared to offer you $5000 each.
They point their guns at Siegfried.
Siegfried: You fools! We still have a chance to get out of this! And in case you have forgotten, next week is the annual KAOS dance!
They point their guns at Max and 99.
Max: $10,000.
They keep their guns on Max and 99.
Siegfried: I'm sorry, Smart. My men just happen to be crazy about dancing.

The Chief and Larabee are supervising the elaborate pursuit of a KAOS cab.
Larabee: Chief, the cab is headed for the bus terminal.
Chief: So far so good. Now if we just don't get a bad break.
Larabee: Smart's covering the bus terminal.
Chief: That's it.
Larabee: That's what?
Chief: The bad break.


Anyways, all my love goes out to this show! *blows kiss* I'm sorry it was only 5 seasons, but I'm grateful for the legend it spawned. (And you know what? The 2008 movie was pretty good too. I actually saw the movie first, that was how I discovered the show. So all my thanks to the movie! *blows kiss again*)

The opening is pretty iconic in pop culture, I think. I mean, I had heard the

theme song before I had ever seen the show. And the multiple door thing 
seemed familiar somehow when I first saw it in the 2008 movie. So, now watch 

and enjoy and let the song never leave your head for the rest of the day.