Who You Are

Being a woman is hard. Extraordinarily hard. There are so many pressures attacking us from every angle of how we are supposed to look, how we should act, how we should dress, and all that noise. What IS the perfect body shape, skin color, hairstyle, and so on? Advertising lies to us. It's all a ploy, "oh if you buy this product, you can look like this photoshopped woman instead of your disgusting ugly self!". Women are so harsh on themselves, always comparing themselves to other women and noticing even the tiniest flaws on their bodies. You look at yourself every day, you are familiar with your body, you see all these tiny details. When a random person is looking at you, they most likely are not going to see that one freckle above your eyebrow or how big your hips are. Let me tell you, something that you may hate about yourself, another person might totally love (for example, people love my hair. They're always complimenting it for different reasons. I hate it. I think it's too flat, too slippery, too straight, too thin, too greasy, too unmanageable. However, I am constantly receiving praises for it).

If you're one of those people who "never takes a good picture", this may be why: Often I'll look at a picture of my mom (sorry, mom, I'm calling you out) and 98% of the time, either I don't see anything particularly wrong with the picture or I'm even like "dang gurl you look fine!". However, she immediately says something along the lines of "oh! Ugh! That is horrible!" or "ugh! Fatty!" or "what am I doing with my chin?". Many other women have this same reaction whenever they see a picture of themselves. There are two main reasons women do this: fishing for compliments or they genuinely believe it.

1) Fishing for compliments- women do this because they are really insecure or because they are full of themselves. Either way, I am sickened every time I hear the typical following scenario:
Woman #1: "Ugh! I'm so fat!"
Woman #2: "No you're not! You're gorgeous!"
Woman #1: "No way! Look at that! Hello, hippo!"
Woman #2: "Not even!"
Woman #1: "It looks like I have an inner tube around my waist!"
Woman #2: "No! No way! You are stunning!"
Every. Single. Time. I can't stand these conversations. (I know that sometimes women will point out their flaws, actually believing what they're saying and aren't necessarily "fishing for compliments", then their friends will combat it, trying to convince them otherwise. But it always seems so... I don't know. Unconvincing? Because it happens every. Single. Time. I mean if a woman insults herself, she knows that her friends are always going to compliment her and tell her the exact opposite. Every. Single. Time.)

2) Genuinely believing it- I think that when women are looking at pictures with friends and family the initial reaction is that when they notice a flaw on themselves, they have to point it out so that it is clear to everybody else that they are aware of this flaw. They think that everyone else is thinking the same thing they are and feel the need to point it out so everyone knows that they aren't oblivious to the fact that they look like a fat hippo or a pasty ghost or a demented giraffe. The problem with this tactic is that women are far too critical with themselves. Like I said above, most of the time I don't notice anything wrong with a picture until my mom points it out (even then, I still don't always see anything wrong with it. I just think she's being too analytical). This applies to other women. If they would stop pointing out the flaws in their pictures, most likely people will not notice them. In fact I advise you all, in the future, when you look at a picture and think you look terrible, say to yourself "yeah. I look good" even if you don't entirely believe it. It will boost your morale and over time, you might actually start to believe it. (Yes, I know there are actual terrible pictures. Where the lighting is awful, or those derpy pictures where your eyes are closed or you do actually look like a yawning turtle. That's why I said 98% of the time, I don't see anything wrong.)

Clothes are another thing. A large majority of women torment themselves in front of the mirror every morning as they find something to wear: "why am I so fat", "I wish this fit better", "my thighs are so big", "my knees are so knobby", "my skin is so red", or something harsh and critical like that. I watched this video of women's inner thoughts as they try on swimsuits. Each of them looked completely different (different body shapes, skin tones, and so on) and every single one had something horrible to say about themselves. I thought every single one of them were so beautiful and looked awesome in their suits, but then they began to say how much they hated trying on suits and my heart just broke.

PLEASE watch this video of strangers's reactions to strangers:

Once again, I repeat my advice: tell yourself you're beautiful, tell yourself you look good. Even if you don't believe it, it will boost your morale. Trust me. At the very least, do NOT tell yourself you are fat or ugly. Don't search for your flaws and certainly don't point them out to your friends. I have applied this to my life and believe me, it makes a tremendous difference.

Of course I see pictures of myself and I think "eugh! What the heck?", but I don't say anything. And then people say later about the same picture "wow what a great picture!". Of course, there may be better ones out there that I'd rather show the world (believe me, I am very picky), but I come to realize that the one I was so disgusted with maybe was not AS bad as I originally thought. I have finally come to appreciate my body, face, hair, etc. just the way it is even with all its flaws. I look in the mirror and think to myself, "yeah, I look good" (this does not include when I just woke up XP).

The problem with today's society is that a woman cannot compliment herself otherwise she's "stuck up". You know what? Forget that! There's a difference between loving yourself and being full of yourself. As long as you're not flaunting your beauty, posting 500 selfies a day, and (as I said) fishing for compliments, it's all good. It's OK to think you look nice. If someone says you look good, ACCEPT THE COMPLIMENT! In fact, agree with them! You don't have to say out loud, but just think, "you're darn right I look beautiful".

So please, do not be so hard on yourself. God created you this way. Do not put down his glorious artwork. You are beautiful.