I never fully understood the concept. It was just a repeated phrase that I pretended to understand when, in fact, I only partially understood. “He suffered for our sins”. All I knew was that it was a big deal. I always talked about it when I bore my testimony because I knew it was important and everybody else did (is that bad? I kind of feel like it’s a little bad). I mean, I sort of understood it, but not on the level that I probably should have. I mean, we take the sacrament every week, and I know I should have fully understood what the meaning of it was.
I did try. I studied the scriptures endlessly, I prayed for understanding, and everything you can do as a helpless church member. I even asked some people a few times... but it just could never be explained to me properly. I always got the same explanation which was straight from the scriptures or from conference talks. I needed something different!
So that brings me to my Book of Mormon class yesterday. I’m not going to repeat the entire lecture (I don’t even remember all of it anyways), but my eyes were suddenly opened. The Atonement is a form of God’s grace. Yes, that much should be obvious, but... the way it was explained, I don’t think I can do it justice. I’ll just go for it.
The Atonement is a form of God’s grace. Many other religions see us humans as sinful, corrupt creatures who fell from God’s presence because of Adam and Eve’s mistake. This is not so. The fall was part of the Lord’s plan in the first place because He wanted us to have our free agency to choose for ourselves and to be tested. Of course, our choices make us imperfect so we will sin and make mistakes. Absolutely nothing that is remotely imperfect can be in the presence of God. So how can we return to Him if we are imperfect? This is where the Atonement comes into play. Jesus Christ is the literal Son of God. He is half mortal because of his mother, Mary, but his father is the Lord God. Because of his mortality, he could experience physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. In the Garden of Gethsemane, he experienced every single pain that man could ever feel-- physical, emotional, and spiritual. If he were only mortal, it would have killed him, but because of the godliness inside him, he was able to endure it. However, bear in mind his plea to his father, “remove this cup from me”. Because of his mortality, he was in pain and he wanted it to stop. He went through this so that he can sympathize with our pains and can know exactly how to help us when we ask him for help.
This is the Lord’s greatest form of grace. Grace, by definition, means “a manifestation of favor. Or mercy”.
People often associate the church with judgement or rebuke. They think that if they come to church, they will be looked down on for all the wrong things they have done. Whether it’s by the people there or actually by the Lord himself, this is a common thought by inactives or “sinners”, so to speak.
The Lord is always merciful. He will never turn you away no matter what you have done. Take the story of Alma the Younger from the Book of Mormon for example. As he tells his son, Helaman, in Alma 36, he went about not just being rebellious and wicked, but he actually was consciously trying to destroy the church. The Lord eventually sent an angel to stop him. If you read throughout the scriptures, angels are only sent when the sanctity of the church is in peril, so this gives you an idea of how bad Alma’s actions truly were. Alma was so stunned by the rebuke, that he went into, I suppose you could call it, a coma. He could not move his limbs or open his mouth for three days.
During those three days he describes his experience as he was “racked with eternal torment”, how his “soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree”, he was “tormented with the pains of hell”, his soul was “rack[ed] with inexpressible horror” at the thought of coming into the presence of God, and he had the “pains of a damned soul”, and so on. A truly horrible experience, filled with anguish. I mean, listen to the language he uses. It sounds truly awful. He writes that he thought it would be better if he were to become “banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds”.
Think about that for a moment. He honestly would have rather been completely destroyed than face his creator with all the sins that weighed on his soul.
So how did he escape such despair? He remembered the teachings of his father about Jesus Christ who would one day atone for all mankind’s sins. His wonderful father who had endured so much in his own past with King Noah, Amlici, and the Lamanites. Alma was lucky to have grown up hearing the teachings of his father so that he knew that he had a place to turn to. And he used that knowledge. He knew it was his only hope. His mind “caught hold upon this thought” and he cried out to Jesus, begging for mercy.
And the most amazing thing happens. As soon as he did this, he “could remember [his] pains no more”. Just like that. As soon as he cried out, he was instantly relieved. Not only was he relieved of his grief, but his pain was replaced by joy. “Oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!”.
How absolutely incredible is that? What an amazing story of forgiveness! And that is about a man who did some truly horrific things. Imagine how easily you could be forgiven for your smaller misdemeanors if you would only put in the effort.
Of course, repentance is not easy. As Alma described his soul racking with torment and such, but it is always possible. You can always return. You just have to be strong and valiant. Even if you are not necessarily “repenting”, but are just struggling with something, the Lord will be there to help you. If you are worried about being judged by church members, then you are missing the point entirely. You don’t go to church for the people, you go to church for yourself and the Lord. If there are dumb people looking down on you for whatever reason, then that’s between them and the Lord. Hypocrites were not looked fondly upon in the bible and they will not be looked well upon today either.
The Lord and Jesus Christ love you so much and they want you to come back to them. Whatever you are struggling with, help will always be given through His grace.
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